Bug's Bleat - - GCF: 24 Pigs

Volume 7, Issue 14

Hello ALL,

Annette’s been suffering with back pain all week. However, she’s made steady progress and went back to work today.
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Are you interested in maps? Do you like to see where things are located? If so, maybe this site is for you. Go to http://jeeep.com/details/coord/ and enter a set of G.P.S. coordinates.
This site will take you to TopoZone.com and show you the location of the coordinates. For instance, look up these coordinates; 33-16-08.0 N, 093-14-47.0 W.
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Greyhound has discontinued bus service to Magnolia as well as over a hundred other cities around the US. Just as gas prices spike above $2 a gallon, we loose our only mass transit alternative.
Agencies are attempting to persuade the bus company to restore service.
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Last week we asked what tuition was at Columbia Christian. Philip Story replied; “Tuition at Columbia Christian School this next school year will be $2500.00 for the first child plus book fees (175.00) and 100.00 enrollment fee per child. BUT they are getting a quality ,academically challenging, Christian education. I believe our money is well spent for the education and the Christian atmosphere that they get to be in every day.”

Columbia Christian is probably closer to the type of school I went to as a child than our public schools. To me, the parents and community make the school and our public schools are being pushed out into a never never land of government regulation without connection to the community.
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Judge Sentences Spammer to Nine Years
LEESBURG, Va. (AP) - A man convicted in the nation's first felony case against illegal spamming was sentenced to nine years in prison Friday for bombarding Internet users with millions of junk e-mails.

Now. Don’t you feel better.
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Facts (for those who subscribe to urban myths).

While cats themselves pose little danger to a pregnant woman, there is a parasite associated with cat feces that causes an infection known as toxoplasmosis. If the mother contracts it, the infection can harm her unborn child's eyes and brain.
Expectant mothers are advised not to change their cat's litter, and to avoid handling sick cats.

While fish is an excellent source of nutrients that help with the baby's development, the Food and Drug Administration has issued a warning advising pregnant women to avoid eating certain types of larger fish that may be contaminated with high levels of mercury. Mercury can cause brain damage, developmental problems and learning deficits in the unborn baby.
Pregnant women should also avoid any raw seafood, such as sushi and oysters.
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Trust me, you’re gonna split a gut reading “Hu's In China” below. In fact, I’ve copied it here for your comedy pleasure.

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

It’s a joke! Can’t you take a joke?
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CNBC will re-air their story "God and Money" Sunday, April 10th at 9pm Eastern. About 30% of the coverage is about faith in the workplace. Be sure to tune in if you have not seen it. Here is a link to the CNBC program schedule. http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/CNBCTV/TV_Info/Schedule.asp
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Astronomy News - http://www.tourbus.com/astronomy-news.html
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Diabetes Questions of the week; is there a connection between “Iron Overload Disease” and the development of diabetes?
A: Yes, there can be a connection between the two. “Iron Overload Disease” involves cases where excess iron accumulates in the body. The most common of these conditions is called “hemochromatosis.” This is a genetic disease, and it can affect something like 1 in every 200-300 people, according to the American Diabetes Association. As iron builds up in the body, it can damage the immune system and the organs. Diabetes can be a result, along with liver or heart disease, or other conditions. Hemochromatosis can be treated, although it may not be possible to reverse damage it may have already done to the body.

Q. I have Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. Does the diabetes cause the blood pressure problem?
A: Type 2 diabetes does not cause high blood pressure (hypertension). However, the majority of people who have Type 2 also have high blood pressure. The American Diabetes Association, the National Institutes of Health, and other organizations are working hard to spread the message that people with diabetes and their physicians need to focus on controlling blood pressure, just as they focus on controlling glucose. In both cases, your diet and activity are important. And, as with diabetes, when diet and exercise aren’t enough, you may also need medications to help get your blood pressure under control.
Your diet is a good place to start. Have you been getting direction on how to plan a healthy meal pattern? I would recommend that you ask your physician for a referral to a registered dietitian. You may also want to look at the standards outlined in the DASH meal plan, which is recommended by the American Heart Association. (DASH stands for “Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension.”) Keep in mind, however, that your diet has to strike the right balance - helping you manage your diabetes and your blood pressure at the same time.

Q. Will taking a statin drug be harmful if I have Type 2 diabetes?
A: Statin drugs are designed to treat high cholesterol, and they are believed to decrease the risk of heart disease in many people. They are also recognized as being safe for people with diabetes. In fact, the American Diabetes Association has suggested that people with diabetes who have elevated levels of LDL (the “bad” cholesterol) should talk to their physicians about whether a statin drug might help.
Generally, the ADA recommends that people with diabetes have an LDL level below 100 mg/dL. If it’s higher, diet and exercise can help – but for many people, diet and exercise alone may not be able to bring it down enough. In such cases, treatment with a statin may be appropriate. If you’re concerned about your cholesterol, talk to your physician about all your options – including these medications.

Q. I was diagnosed with Type 1 less than a year ago, and I recently found out I am pregnant. My glucose is in control, but I am seeing a small amount of ketones in my urine. Is there a safe way to lower the ketones without harming my baby?
A: Ketones are acids that build up in the blood, and the level can be measured in your urine. (We often say that ketones “spill” into the urine.) The main reasons for spilling ketones are: not having enough insulin, or not eating a sufficient diet. As your pregnancy develops, your insulin needs can increase. However, if you are early in your pregnancy and in good control, as you say you are, then I might look first at your diet. You need to pay careful attention to your meal planning, which is important for a healthy pregnancy. In addition to your physician, are you getting input from a dietitian at this time? You should expect to increase your caloric intake as your pregnancy develops. At the same time, you want to be sure that you are maintaining good glucose control - which can be especially difficult when you’re going to have a baby. A mother’s poorly controlled diabetes can be harmful to the developing fetus.
http://www.lifescan.com/care/expert/expansapr05/
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Army Hero Wins First Medal of Honor for Valor in Iraq
Kansas City Star - 16 minutes ago

BY RON HUTCHESON. WASHINGTON - (KRT) - Two years to the day after Sgt. 1st Class Paul Smith was killed in a fierce firefight in Iraq, President Bush delivered the Medal of Honor to the slain soldier's 11-year son Monday in an emotional White House ceremony.

Smith's comrades credited him with saving more than 100 American lives by single-handedly thwarting an Iraqi counterattack in the early days of the invasion. Braving a steady barrage of enemy fire, Smith climbed into a damaged armored vehicle and turned its .50-caliber machine on the attacking Iraqis.

Smith, 33, killed about 50 enemy soldiers before he was mortally wounded. He's the first soldier from the Iraq war to receive the nation's highest military honor.

"On this day two years ago, Sgt. Smith gave his all for his men," Bush said, standing next to Smith's widow, Birgit Smith; her son, David; and her daughter, Jessica.

Birgit Smith fought tears as she clasped her children's hands during the brief ceremony in the East Room of the White House. The family lives in Holiday, Fla.

Bush offered an intensely personal tribute to the medal winner, describing Smith's transition from a carefree youth to a serious-minded soldier.

"The story of Paul Smith is the story of a boy transformed into a man and a leader," the president said. "When he joined the Army, he was a typical young American. He liked sports, he liked fast cars, he liked to stay out late with his friends, pursuits that would occasionally earn him what the Army calls extra duty: scrubbing floors."

Bush said Smith matured after he was stationed in Germany, fell in love, married and started a family. He became a more disciplined soldier while serving in the Persian Gulf War.

By the time of the Iraq invasion in 2003, he was known as a hard-driving sergeant who pushed his men to prepare them for combat.

Smith lost his life within a mile of the Baghdad airport, a key strategic target for the invading U.S. troops.

Bush said Smith showed "total disregard for his own life" while repulsing the Iraqi attackers.
"Five days later, Baghdad fell and the Iraqi people were liberated," the president said.
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It's time to purchase your Magnolia Blossom Festival t-shirts!
We'll be taking orders (with money) through Monday, April 11.
S-XL - $10.00 - /- 2XL - 12.00 -/ - 3XL - 14.00
Mitzie Walker - 235-6296
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We don’t have any plans to expand nuclear energy.
We don’t have any plans to expand mass transit.
We don’t have any plans to support rail travel, much less rail cargo expansions.
But if Congress passes the new “energy” bill, Americans may see more daylight-saving time.

Lawmakers crafting energy legislation approved an amendment Wednesday to extend daylight-saving time by two months, having it start on the last Sunday in March and end on the last Sunday in November.
"Extending daylight-saving time makes sense, especially with skyrocketing energy costs," said Rep. Fred Upton, R-Mich., who along with Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass., co-sponsored the measure.
The amendment was approved by the House Energy and Commerce Committee that is putting together major parts of energy legislation likely to come up for a vote in the full House in the coming weeks.
"The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use," said Markey, who cited Transportation Department estimates that showed the two-month extension would save the equivalent of 10,000 barrels of oil a day.
The country uses about 20 million barrels of oil a day. Today, most papers lead headlines dealt with the FDA's decision effectively pulling painkiller Bextra from the market, and ordering the strongest warnings for the only other prescription painkiller still available in the same class, Celebrex. Both drugs are a subset of what are known as NSAIDs. Over-the-counter NSAIDs, such ibuprofen and naproxen (Aleve) will also get new warnings, though not as strong as Celebrex. (They'll basically tell people not to take them for more than two-weeks at a time). The only pain relievers not pegged with more warnings: Aspirin and acetaminophen (Tylenol). The Los Angeles Times does a good particularly job of parsing this all out and avoiding putting all the pills in the same basket.
It's not that there's new data revealing previously unknown risks for the drugs. The problem is something of the opposite: There are few long-term studies, so as the New York Times puts it, "regulators are groping a bit in the dark."
"We think these risks apply to all of these drugs," said a FDA official "There may be some differences, but our conclusion is that we don't have enough data to rank-order these risks."
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And, in our “This is too good to pass up” department;
Deliveryman, missing since Friday, found in stuck elevator
Tuesday, April 5, 2005 - - ASSOCIATED PRESS

NEW YORK - A deliveryman who vanished after taking Chinese food to a Bronx apartment complex was found alive Tuesday after apparently spending four days trapped in an elevator that had become stuck between floors.
Ming Kuang Chen, 35, had been the subject of a widespread search after he failed to return to his restaurant Friday with $200 in receipts.
Firefighters were called to the apartment complex early Tuesday after getting a complaint that someone was stuck in the elevator.
"They said, 'We think the guy's drunk. We can't understand him,'" fire Lt. Peter Chadwick told The New York Times. "Little did they know he wasn't drunk, but probably feeling the effects of being in an elevator" for days.
Chen was suffering from dehydration, said Dr. Babak Toosi at Montefiore Medical Center, but was feeling better after eating an apple, cereal and a roll.
Chen, a native of China who speaks little English, apparently tried to tell rescuers how long he had been trapped by circling his watch dial with his finger numerous times, said Fire Department spokesman Charlie Markey.
The man had made three deliveries to the apartment complex but failed to return to the Happy Dragon restaurant. Police conducted a door-to-door canvass of the apartment complex and searched a nearby reservoir.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg said there would be an investigation.
"I don't know that anything was done wrong," he said. "If they were there and they searched and they didn't find him, thank God it turned out that he's OK."
He said he believed the elevator maintenance workers were on strike, but "whether that contributed to it or not, I don't know."
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In a few weeks, the Department of Defense's Commission tasked with determining what military installations should remain open and which should no longer remain operational will submit its recommendations to the President. Called the Base Realignment and Closure or BRAC, this Commission spends months studying methods and procedures for improving and making more efficient our nation's military operations. Two defense facilities that are currently under BRAC review impact South Arkansas - the Pine Bluff Arsenal and the Red River Army Depot.

Because the BRAC process considers the viability of each and every military installation throughout the country, I, along with the other Members of Congress who represent districts that could be impacted, are concerned about the BRAC process.

Both the Pine Bluff Arsenal and the Red River Army Depot have been in operation since 1941, and provide missions that are critical to protecting our national security. The Pine Bluff Arsenal is one of the nation's largest facilities for storing chemical weapons. It is also the Department of Defense's sole supplier of white phosphorus smoke munitions, a valuable tool soldiers can use to produce a wall of smoke they can move behind without the enemy seeing them. The Red River Army Depot is one of the only facilities that build armor-plated doors for Humvees, which are critical to protecting our troops from small arms or explosive devices. The Depot is also the worldwide center for recertification of PATRIOT and HAWK missiles.

Both facilities boast a tremendous impact on our local economy. The Pine Bluff Arsenal provides over 2,500 jobs and infuses over $160 million annually to the local community. The Red River Army Depot is one of the largest industrial operations in its region, employing nearly 5,000 people with an annual economic impact of $400 million.

Thanks to Congressman Mike Ross - Representing Arkansas's 4th District
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FACT: Asbestos is a dangerous substance.
FACT: Asbestos can only cause lung damage when “friable” fibers are inhaled.
FACT: Not all Asbestos products are “friable”.
FACT: Asbestosis is a deadly disease.
FACT: Being in an area where “non friable” asbestos is located is probably not a health hazard.
Business Group Seeks Probe of Asbestos Claims

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The head of the largest U.S. business association has asked the Justice Department to investigate "compelling evidence of fraud" in asbestos injury claims filed across the country, the group said on Friday.
The request from Tom Donohue, president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and an influential Washington lobbyist, marked a new business offensive against hundreds of thousands of asbestos suits that have pushed dozens of companies into bankruptcy.
President Bush has also denounced the flood of claims, saying many are frivolous, bad for the U.S. economy and clogging the courts. He has asked Congress to rein them in, and some senators are trying to draft legislation to do so.
Asbestos victims and labor groups say the real problem is an epidemic of asbestos-related disease caused by exposure to the lung-scarring mineral, in widespread use for decades as an insulator and fire retardant, and illnesses including cancer.
Partly as a result of the congressional interest in asbestos claims, "considerable evidence has come to light indicating the existence of substantial and systematic fraud in asbestos litigation," Donohue wrote in a letter to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales that was released by the Chamber.
"I request that the Department of Justice immediately open a formal investigation into the conduct of lawyers, doctors and others who are responsible for the explosion in meritless and abusive asbestos claims across the country in recent years."
A Justice Department spokesman said he could not confirm receipt of the letter or comment on the matter.
While accusing no one specifically of fraud, the Chamber noted several developments to bolster its call for a probe, including a Texas case involving litigation over silica, another lung-scarring mineral.
Doctors in that case have testified that they had diagnosed silicosis in patients they had never met. Some of the same doctors have diagnosed asbestos-related diseases in thousands of cases, the Chamber said.
The business group also cited a study published in an academic journal last year that questioned whether hundreds of chest X-rays offered as evidence in asbestos injury lawsuits were properly interpreted by radiologists.
An AFL-CIO official suggested Donohue's call for an investigation targeted senators discussing establishing a $140-billion privately financed fund to pay asbestos claims, while ending the victims' rights to sue.
"It's another way of pressuring lawmakers to reduce the size of the fund, by representing the situation as being claims that are not real," said Peg Seminario, the AFL-CIO's official in charge of occupational health.
She said U.S. deaths from asbestos-related disease were still increasing, citing government statistics that there were 2,573 deaths in 2002 from mesothelioma, a lethal cancer linked to asbestos.
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May 14-15 - - Barksdale Air Force Base Air Show
http://www.barksdaleairshow.org/

And . . .

Daredevils set to sizzle April skies - Experimental Aircraft Association chapter leading venture

Wings Over the Red II will start at 10 a.m. April 9 at the Shreveport Downtown Airport, with flying starting at noon. For more information, call George Carroll at (318) 797-5205. By John Andrew Prime
jprime@gannett.com
Twists and curls of smoke and dazzling displays of aerobatics will fill the skies north of downtown Shreveport on April 9, with Wings Over the Red II. The free event will begin at 10 a.m., with flying starting at noon.
Featured among the performers is Steve Culp of Shreveport, flying both a Yak-50 and a reproduction World War I Sopwith Pup he built from original plans -- with a few enhancements.

Also on the scheduled is David Leedom, normally an instructor at Barksdale Air Force Base's B-52 schoolhouse, and a veteran of both Desert Storm over Iraq and Operation Enduring Freedom over Afghanistan. With more than 6,000 hours on his flight log, he'll be seen in a Pitts S2A.
But don't be surprised to see two Leedoms on the scheduled. David Leedom's son Davey, a sophomore at LSU and also an accomplished pilot, will also perform. According to air show organizers, when he was 17 years old he was the youngest aerobatics low-altitude card holder in the country. And at that time he'd put three years of aerobatics under his belt and had soloed for his pilot's license a year earlier.
People who attended last year's open house and air show at Barksdale Air Force Base may recall a thrilling display by pilot Wyche T. Coleman III. Coleman, who started flying at age 14, and now nine years older and a medical student at LSU Health Sciences Center in Shreveport, will reprise his performance in his 300-horsepower Pitts S-2B biplane.
Coleman, who trained under aerobatic greats Marion Cole and Sean D. Tucker, attended the EAA's AirVenture Oshkosh, the largest air show in the country, two years ago.
Finally, Gary Boucher grew up with a love of aviation, as a child hearing stories from his father, a former Army Air Corps cadet. He took his first flying lesson at age 17 and started exploration into aerobatics reading books by stunt-flying great Roscoe Turner at the Northwestern State University Library. He then taught himself how to perform aerobatics.
Boucher will be seen flying a 180-horsepower Super Decathlon.
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Recognizing a stroke

Make sure you can recognize the warning signs of a stroke. Taking quick action can mean the difference between life and death for the victim. - From StrokeAssociation.org

Learn to recognize a stroke and act quickly:

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause
Call 9-1-1 immediately if you experience symptoms!
Time lost is brain lost!

From a BBC Report: Members of the public can be easily trained to spot stroke symptoms, helping people get medical help quicker, experts say.
They can use a basic one-minute test that asks people who may have had a stroke to smile, raise their arms and keep them up, and speak a simple sentence coherently.
For more about the Cincinnati Stroke Scale, visit:
http://www.strokecenter.org/trials/scales/cincinnati.html
Thanks to Angie Caldwell
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We’re always looking for stories as well as jokes and other contributions. Don’t hesitate to share any offerings with us.
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Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat.blogspot.com
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $2.265 $2.404 $2.492 $2.380
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe of the week; Beef Pot Pie - - Recipe courtesy Stephen Smith
Prep Time: 15 minutes - - Cook Time: 4 hours

For the vegetables:
2 medium purpletop turnips, peeled, cut in irregular 3/4-inch chunks ½ cup frozen green peas
Chopped parsley, for garnish
2 carrots cut in irregular 3/4-inch chunks

For the stew:
3 pounds lean stewing beef (rump, chuck roast, sirloin tip, top or bottom round)
4 ounces lean bacon
2 medium carrots, minced
1 onion, minced
1 stalk celery, minced
6 tablespoons clarified butter
6 tablespoons flour
Pinch cayenne
3 cups red wine (chianti or burgundy are good choices)
6 cups low salt beef bouillon (or other brown stock) (don't use bouillon made from cubes)
3 tablespoons tomato paste
2 garlic cloves, minced
Herbs tied in cheesecloth: 3 to 4 parsley sprigs, 2 bay leaves, 2 teaspoons thyme

Equipment:
Heavy fireproof casserole (10 inches across by 3 inches deep) or deep heavy soup pot
6 straight sided 4 ½ inches round (or 1 (9 or 10-inch) tart pans with removable rings
Food processor with steel blade.

Procedure: Filling is made in 2 parts and then combined: the stew and the vegetables. The crust is partially baked before filling.

The vegetables: Blanche the turnips and then the carrot chunks in rapidly boiling salted water until just tender, removing the vegetables from the water and immediately cooling them under running water to stop the cooking. Microwave the peas in a ½ cup of water for 20 seconds or pour some of the hot blanching water over them and then drain. Mix the vegetables together. This can also be done ahead, the same day as the pie will be served or even the night before, but don't freeze the vegetables.

The stew: Cut beef into 1-inch chunks and dry thoroughly with a paper towel. Cut the bacon into 1-inch pieces and brown slowly in the casserole. Remove the bacon and set aside, and turn the heat to high. Brown the beef quickly in the bacon fat. Add olive oil if necessary. Remove the beef from the casserole and set aside with the bacon. Add the minced carrots, onions and celery and brown on medium high heat in the remaining fat. Remove the vegetables from the pot and add to the reserved beef and bacon. Add the clarified butter to the pot and sprinkle in the flour. Stirring constantly, brown the flour on medium high heat until it is a dark, nut brown. Return the bacon, beef and vegetables to the pot. Stir to coat them with the browned flour and cook for 1 minute on medium-high heat. Lower the heat, add the cayenne, wine, bouillon or stock, the tomato paste, the garlic and the herb bouquet tied in a cheesecloth. Stir to mix well and simmer for at least 3, preferably 4, hours, stirring occasionally. When done the meat should be very tender. Skim fat if necessary. Check for seasoning. Remove the meat from the gravy with a slotted spoon and set aside. Remove and discard the herb bouquet. Reserve the gravy in a separate container. The stew may be prepared to this point a 1 or 2 days ahead and kept refrigerated. It can also be frozen after preparation to be kept longer.

Crust: (note: for single pie use 2/3 of quantities given)
4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
2 sticks cold butter
½ cup vegetable shortening
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup ice water

The crust: Preheat oven to 400 degrees Process the flour, butter, shortening, and salt until mixture is like coarse cornmeal. Add the ice water and pulse processor a few times until dough begins to clump. Do not overprocess. Scrape dough onto a board, divide in half and put each half in a plastic bag. Working through the bag, quickly press the dough into a ball. Refrigerate dough for at least 1 hour. (May be frozen at this point for future use.) Roll 1 of the balls out to about 1/8-inch thick. Butter the tart pans and line with the dough. Roll the other ball of dough out and cut circular pieces about 1/8-inch larger than the individual tart pans (or 3/8-inch if using the single 9 or 10-inch pan). The circles for the top crust of the pot pie are cut larger because there will be shrinkage when it is baked. The edges can be crimped with a fork if desired. Leftover dough can be cut into decorative shapes for the top crust.

Butter pieces of aluminum foil and line the crust in the tart pans with them. Fill the foil with dried beans or rice to a depth of about 1-inch -- this will keep the crust from puffing when it is baked empty. Place the top crust circles on a cookie sheet and prick with a fork. Bake for about 10 minutes. Crust should just start to brown. The top pieces will likely take a little less time. Remove the aluminum foil and return the beans or rice to their container. Leave the tart pan rings in place. The crust can be made up to 4 hours before the dish is assembled and served.

Assembly: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. If you have made the stew and gravy ahead of time, warm them separately on the stove until they just begin to simmer. Add gravy back to the stew a little at a time until it is liquid enough but not too soupy. Stir well to mix. The proportion will vary according to the cut of meat used and the actual cooking time. Once you've made it a couple of times you'll know how you like it. If there is leftover gravy, keep it warm on the stove while you bake the pie. Mix the vegetables into the stew just before you assemble the pie. Spoon the filling mixture into the partially baked pie shell. It should fill it right to the top. There may be some filling mixture left over. This is not a bad thing. Bake for about 8 to10 minutes, until the crust starts to look quite brown at the edges and the filling is bubbling. Allow to rest for 5 to 10 minutes before serving. Carefully remove rings from the pans and slide the pies onto warmed plates. If there is remaining gravy, serve on the side with the pie. Garnish with chopped parsley.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_11933,00.html
The recipes for this program, which were provided by contributors and guests who may not be professional chefs, have not been tested in the Food Network's kitchens. Therefore, the Food Network cannot attest to the accuracy of any of the recipes.
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BREAKPOINT Commentaries
by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship

A Fitting Death
True Death with Dignity
April 8, 2005

Some deaths can rightly be called “fitting.” That is, in dying, the person embodied what his life stood for. John Paul II’s death was fitting. For those of us who believe that God is always speaking to those who have ears to hear, Karol Wojtyla’s dying two days after Terri Schiavo wasn’t a coincidence: It was Providence.

It seems unfair to remember a towering figure like Pope John Paul II mostly in terms of the last few weeks of his life. After all, this was the man who, along with Reagan and Thatcher, brought down the Iron Curtain. It’s difficult to remember the Catholic world without John Paul II.

Under his care, the Church opposed, both in word and deed, the false idols at whose altar so many of our contemporaries worship. Articulating a thoroughly Christian alternative to ideologies like the sexual revolution earned John Paul II the barely disguised hatred of many.

But in the last weeks and months of his life, the Pope sent a message, even when he couldn’t speak, about his greatest contribution: that is, advancing the “Gospel of Life.” In his encyclical by that same name, he described the way that “cultural, economic and political currents . . . encourage an [excessive concern] with efficiency.”

This “culture of death,” as he called it, wages war against those among us who “require greater acceptance, love and care.” It regards their existence as “useless,” a “terrible burden,” or an unacceptable “lifestyle compromise” to those who are “more favored.” In time, the “culture of death” persuades people that taking the lives of the defenseless is morally justifiable.

The pope was a prophet. Just look at the recent FOX poll that found a majority of Americans regarded the removal of Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube as an “act of mercy.” That’s how Americans viewed the deliberate killing of an innocent woman in Florida. In this, as in so many other things, John Paul II saw the handwriting on the wall and was able to tell us what it said.

But he didn’t settle for words. Just as he demonstrated the power of forgiveness by personally forgiving his would-be assassin, he bore witness to the “Gospel of Life” in his own body. While we will never know exactly what Terri Schiavo did or didn’t feel, we can be certain that the pope felt everything.

He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He wrote that “when . . . the person is almost incapable of living and acting,” this suffering constitutes “a touching lesson to those who are healthy and normal.”

That’s why the timing of his death also was “fitting.” When Mother Teresa died the same week as Princess Diana, it was a lesson on the difference between true greatness and mere celebrity. Now, Schiavo’s and the Pope’s deaths provide us with a lesson in what “compassion in dying” really means.

It’s now up to us to help others learn that lesson. The beliefs on display in that FOX poll can be overcome. Indeed, they must be overcome. In his death as in life, John Paul has gotten our attention and passed on to us—to all Christians—a charge to keep: to defend the culture of life against the counterfeit and seductively dangerous ideas now so fashionable in modern life.

For further reading and information:

Please help support the Christian worldview ministry of BreakPoint. Call 1-877-322-5527 to give a donation today.

Read Pope John Paul II’s encyclical letter on the Gospel of Life .

“Chuck Colson Lauds Pope John Paul II as Promoter of Christian Unity ,” Prison Fellowship press release, 2 April 2005 .

Rev. Roberto Sirico, “ Truth to the World: The Life of John Paul II ,” Acton Institute, 6 April 2005 (reprinted on BreakPoint Online).

BreakPoint Commentary No. 050404, “ ‘The Planter of Crosses’: The Life and Death of John Paul II .”

Peggy Noonan, “ ‘We Want God’ ,” Wall Street Journal, 7 April 2005 .

George Weigel, “ Mourning and Remembrance ,” Wall Street Journal, 4 April 2005 .

Matthew Campbell, et al., “ Don’t weep for me ,” The Times ( London), 3 April 2005 .

Keelin McDonell, “ First Act ,” New Republic, 5 April 2005 .

See Townhall.com’s religion page section on John Paul II.

Michael Cromartie, “ Pope John Paul II and Evangelicals ,” interview with George Weigel, Christianity Today, 4 April 2005 .

Collin Hansen, “ Pope Gave Evangelicals the Moral Impetus We Didn’t Have ,” interview with Dr. Timothy George, Christianity Today, 6 April 2005 .

See Christianity Today’s full coverage of Pope John Paul II .

George Weigel, “ Il Papa Meets El Presidente ,” Weekly Standard, 19 January 1998 .

Jonathan V. Last, “ The Washington Post and the Pope ,” Weekly Standard, 3 April 2005 .

Daniel Williams, “ Pope’s Feeding Tube Brings End-of-Life Questions Closer ,” Washington Post, 31 March 2005 , A01.

“FOX Poll: Majority Sees Removal of Feeding Tube as Act of Mercy ,” FOX News, 31 March 2005 .

Copyright 2005 Prison Fellowship Ministries. Reprinted with permission. "BREAKPOINT with Chuck Colson" is a radio ministry of Prison Fellowship Ministries. Prison Fellowship Ministries may withdraw or modify this grant of permission at any time. To receive "BREAKPOINT" commentaries daily, you can subscribe for free at http://www. breakpoint. org/.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
jape: to jest.
biddable: easily led or commanded; obedient.
cloy: to weary or become distasteful through excess.
amanuensis: one employed to take dictation or to copy manuscripts.
shibboleth: a word, pronunciation, saying, belief, practice, etc., that distinguishes one group from another.
complement: something that fills up or completes.
maudlin: excessively sentimental.
Panglossian: excessively or naively optimistic.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals." - Benjamin Franklin

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." - Frank Herbert

"Be not afraid!" - John Paul II

"Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love. Everything is united by it alone. Love is God, and to die means that I, a particle of love, shall return to the general and eternal source." - Leo Tolstoy

"The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The proverb warns that 'You should not bite the hand that feeds you.' But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself." - Thomas Szasz

"When the nature of the thing is incomprehensible, I can acquiesce in the Scripture: but when the signification of words is incomprehensible, I cannot acquiesce in the authority of a Schoolman." - Thomas Hobbes

"I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity." - Cicero

"I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way." - Carl Sandburg

Selected quotes from one of our special friends;
“I have not come to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable.”

“It's that time of year. Time to Spring Forward. Don't let that extra hour
of daylight damage your skin and eyes. Take precautions. Also, check your
shadow. I needed a new one ... mine wasn't doing the same thing I was!”

“Safety First, Safety Always! - - Be a Fool for Safety!”

"Most people don't pay attention to the calm voice of reason unless it's juxtaposed by screaming idiots on either side of the fence."
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GCF: 24 Pigs

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/
UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email.
This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2004 before it was sent.
----------------------------------

A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina.

A train had killed twenty-four pigs, and the young attorney was trying to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury.

"Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, twenty-four pigs. Imagine, twenty-four pigs. Twice the number there are in the jury box."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Alligator Teeth

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe
----------------------------------

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

"What is it made of?" she asked.

"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.

"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
_ ___________________________ _

GCF: Stuntmen

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com
----------------------------------

A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
_ ___________________________ _

GCF: Doctor's Advice

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com
----------------------------------
Doctor: I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?

Patient: I was just following your orders, Doc.

Doctor: Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.

Patient: You told me to avoid people who irritate me.
_ ___________________________ _

GCF: Auto Shopping

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@egroups.com
----------------------------------

A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth - was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership.

When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would it take to get you into one of these?"

Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman replied, "Probably a crowbar."
_ ___________________________ _

GCF: Weight Watching

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
----------------------------------
Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit.

Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"
_ ___________________________ _
(((\ \>_/ )______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why is it called lipstick \ /
\ _/ if you can still move your lips? \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A gross ignoramus is \ /
\ _/ 144 times worse than \_ /
/ / an ordinary ignoramus. \ (((\ \>_/ )______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ "I'll be Bach!" \_ /
/ / -Johann Sebastian Swartzenegger \ (((\ \>_/ )______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Better mince your words... \ /
\ _/ makes them easier to eat. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why isn't there a special \ /
\ _/ name for the tops of our feet? \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / True love does not mean \ \_/ ////
\ / holding hands, but knowing that \ /
\ _/ the hand will be there for you \_ /
/ / should you ever need it. \ _ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
_( (_ *** Good Clean Fun *** _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] A New Weapon For Airlifters

The dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering it's hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.

They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield. They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home. Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.

From: http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Marina/8106/cowtrivia.html.

Received from Chip Burkitt.
-=+=-
GCF: Stuntmen

A sweet grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?"

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Holly Finkel in room 302."

The Operator replied, "Let me check. Oh, good news. Her records say that Holly is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday."

The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Holly your daughter?"

The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Holly Finkel in 302.
Dr.Cohen doesn't tell me anything!"

Received from Tami D.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Rules Of Life

Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are.

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

9. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

12. Work is good, but it's not that important.

13. And finally, be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Received from Terri Schneider.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Hu's In China

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of
China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new
leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was
in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new
leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N.
on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass
of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy
at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the
phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.
Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the
Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Received from Freund Milton.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Balance

Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people." "Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah,"said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and forests. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington. Wait til you see the idiots I put there!"

Received from WestiMom.
-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
-=+=-
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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A small boy marched into his mother's missionary circle meeting and
announced; "Mom! I've got to tee tee!"
His mother was mortified and took him aside to explain.
"Junior" she said, "When you have to make water, just come and tell me
you've got to whisper. It's not polite to announce things like that out
loud."
The boy told her he understood and would follow her instructions in the
future.

A few days later, she was shopping and the boy's father was watching him.
As father's are able to do, he was watching Junior while napping on the
couch.
The boy marched up to his father and announced; "Dad! I've got to
whisper!"
His father partially woke up and mumbled; "O.K. Whisper in my ear."
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The following is a brief overview of courses that will be available to EMS providers around the country. As soon as FEMA completes awarding the multi-million dollar grants to the sponsoring agencies.

TACTICAL UNDERWATER VEHICLE EXTRICATION (24 hours)
Synopsis: What will your community do if a patient needs extrication from his car that is underwater while terrorists are holding him hostage? A must for all communities that are near water and are at risk of terrorist attack.

COFFEE SPILL INCIDENTS - Awareness (1 hour)
Synopsis: Coffee spills pose a great risk to EMS providers and the general public alike. Provides the student with a basic overview of how to recognize, respond, and make the proper notifications in the event of a coffee spill.

COFFEE SPILL INCIDENTS - Operations (3 hours)
Synopsis: Builds on the information offered in Coffee Spill Incidents - Awareness to provide a working knowledge of coffee spill incidents, identification of different brands of coffee, hands on training with mop and bucket simulators.

LETTING POLICE AND FIRE TAKE ALL THE CREDIT (3 hours)
Synopsis: Trained psychologists offer their guidance in letting go of your feelings in these trying situations. The anger management portion allows for more healthy outlets then throwing cans at the TV set.

YOU GET A NEAT LOOKING PATCH AND CERTIFICATE (0.03 hours)
Synopsis: Students receive a really cool looking patch and certificate after signing in.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE BYSTANDER (8 hours)
Synopsis: Top psychiatrists, psychologists, and sociologists look to explain the behavior patterns of the average bystander. Questions to be addressed: Why do they assume care providers have little to no training? Why are they unable to see bright flashing lights? Why do they think their opinions matter?

POSING (10 hours)
Synopsis: Models and actors demonstrate good poses to strike while on call in case someone snaps a photo. This course integrates: Lip biting, brow furrowing, and looks of concern/determination.

JUSTIFYING YOUR OVERSIZED AMBULANCE TO THE CITY COUNCIL (1 hour)
Synopsis: Representatives from Freightliner offer reasonable sounding excuses as to why your service needs an ambulance larger then most apartments. These professional sales people will allow you to come up with better alternatives than "We like big trucks with shiny bumpers and loud horns."

Before you get to offended, acknowledge you know at least one person who would sign up for these.
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh

Shoebox Doilies

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you.."

Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.

"Where did the $82,500 come from?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling all the doilies."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Saved By The Tomato

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes.

In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family.

During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck.

At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him.

By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard.

Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million dollars.

Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"

"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House

*Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House*

1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.

2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.

3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.

4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.

5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year- old.

6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch "on" ; or just paintover it.

7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.

8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.

9. If something looks level, it is level.

10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

No Contraband

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Colorful Grandma

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely,

"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

*Eye Laugh*

"Hang On Until"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=11

"Winning Perspective"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=12

"I'll Get That"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=13

"Edible Cute"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=14

"Noah And Sons"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=9

Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/opera_humor.html - - Guide For The Opera Impaired "There will inevitably come a day when some misanthrope, posing as a pal, drags you to The Opera. Don't panic ... unless Richard Wagner composed the opera, in which case playing dead will help you match the mood of the music..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Daylight Saving Time - - http://webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/b.html - - Daylight Saving Time begins for most of the United States at 2 a.m. on the first Sunday of April. Time reverts to standard time at 2 a.m. on the last Sunday of October. In the U.S., each time zone switches at a different time.
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Shipwreck Central - - http://www.shipwreckcentral.com/map/index.php - - Eco-Nova dive teams have been traveling the planet searching for and filming shipwreck sites for over a decade. Our goal in all our documentaries has always been to bring you to underwater sites that you might otherwise not see and to tell good factual stories to compliment our amazing underwater visuals. Our Sea Hunters documentaries are our best to date. Working with world renowned author, Clive Cussler, marine archaeologist and author, James Delgado, and our dive team, headed up by Mike and Warren Fletcher, we have taken you on searches for some of the worlds most famous shipwrecks. Over this time we have conversed and traded wreck information with many of you. In fact, we now have so many avid divers, historians and shipwreck enthusiasts contacting us with information and questions that it has proven to be impossible to keep up a real, ongoing dialogue.
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"Self-service kiosks in hotel lobbies, which let travelers bypass the front desk at check-in, will eventually help hotels stem rising labor costs by enabling them to serve guests with fewer staff. Marriott International will roll out the kiosks this summer, allowing guests to check in, get key cards and check out without interacting with hotel staff. 'Eventually, the kiosks will likely result in some cuts at the front desk,' Chairman and Chief Executive Officer J.W. Marriott, Jr., said in an interview at a Marriott conference of general managers last week in Orlando. Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide Inc. and Hilton Hotels Corp. properties already have self-service kiosks and plan to add more. Marriott's kiosks, initially planned for urban, full-service hotels, also allow customers to change rooms, beds and length of stay. And, the kiosks are designed to be compatible with a system that would let air travelers print boarding passes while checking out of their hotel. Hilton was the first to launch the kiosks early last year. With 102 kiosks in 42 hotels, they have so far been 'very successful,' Hilton spokeswoman Kathy Shepard said."
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The Holy See - - http://www.vatican.va/phome_en.htm - - Official Vatican Web site. Related site: Factbook on Holy See (Vatican City). - - http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/vt.html
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Autism May Be Linked To Antioxidant Levels
April 03, 2005

Children with autism have a abnormal metabolic profile that may play a role in the condition, according to researchers at the University of Arkansas.

The researchers believe autistic children are more vulnerable to oxidative stress, which occurs when the antioxidant system fails to counteract the production or exposure to free radicals.

These free radicals then damage cells in the brain, as well as the gastrointestinal tract, and the immune system, which they believe may contribute to the the neurological, gastrointestinal and immunologic pathology that occurs in autistic children.

The team analyzed and compared blood samples from 95 autistic children with 75 healthy children. They found autistic children had lower levels of a protective chemical called glutathione, which is produced by every cell and protects against damage caused by oxygen-free radicals.

The findings were presented at the American Society for Nutritional Sciences' scientific sessions at the Experimental Biology 2005 conference in San Diego.

The researchers cautioned that they do not know if the abnormal metabolic profile precedes the disorder or is one of the symptoms.
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American FactFinder - - http://factfinder.census.gov/home/saff/main.html?_lang=en - - Site by the U.S. Census Bureau: 'Your source for population, housing, economic, and geographic data.' Also available, U.S. and world population clocks.
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"Most areas of the world seem to be winning the battle against tuberculosis, but an overwhelming burden of cases in Africa, unleashed by HIV, is frustrating efforts to reverse the global epidemic, according to a new U.N. report. Major progress has been made against TB in hard-hit Asia in the last year, but in Africa infection rates have tripled in the last decade and worldwide infection rates are still on the rise, according to estimates in the World Health Organization's annual tuberculosis report. TB is preventable and curable, yet one-third of the world's population is infected and the disease kills 5,000 people a day - more than ever before. The United Nations considers beating TB integral to the economic and social development of poor countries and aims to put it into decline by 2015."
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IRS : 2005 'Dirty Dozen' Tax Schemes - - http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=136337,00.html - - The Internal Revenue Service presents its annual listing of notorious tax scams, the 'Dirty Dozen,' reminding taxpayers to be wary of schemes that promise to eliminate taxes or otherwise sound too good to be true. The 'Dirty Dozen' for 2005 includes several new scams that either manipulate laws governing charitable groups, abuse credit counseling services or rely on refuted arguments to claim tax exemptions. The agency also sees the continuing spread of identity theft schemes preying on people through e-mail, the Internet or the phone, sometimes with con artists posing as representatives of the IRS.
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IRS: Free Online Filing - - http://www.irs.gov/efile/article/0,,id=118986,00.html - - Whoever said there is no such thing as a free lunch may have been right. But for millions of eligible taxpayers this year, there is Free File. Free File is online tax preparation and electronic filing through a partnership agreement between the IRS and the Free File Alliance, LLC. In other words, you can e-file... free. Related sites: Yahoo 2005 Tax Guide - - http://biz.yahoo.com/special/taxes05.html / Free File Alliance Companies - - http://www.irs.gov/app/freeFile/jsp/index.jsp / Federal and State Tax Forms. - - http://taxes.yahoo.com/fedforms.html
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"For more than a century, the study of dinosaurs has been limited to fossilized bones. Now, researchers have recovered 70-million-year-old soft tissue, including what may be blood vessels and cells, from a Tyrannosaurus rex. If scientists can isolate proteins from the material, they may be able to learn new details of how dinosaurs lived, said lead researcher Mary Higby Schweitzer of North Carolina State University. 'We're doing a lot of stuff in the lab right now that looks promising,' she said in a telephone interview. But, she said, she does not know yet if scientists will be able to isolate dinosaur DNA from the materials. It was recovered dinosaur DNA - the blueprint for life - that was featured in the fictional recreation of the ancient animals in the book and film 'Jurassic Park.' The soft tissues were recovered from the thighbone of a T. rex, known as MOR 1125, that was found in a sandstone formation in Montana. The dinosaur was about 18 years old when it died."
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Presidental Tax Returns - - http://www.taxhistory.org/thp/thpwebsite.nsf/Web/PresidentialTaxReturns?OpenDocument - - Individual income tax returns -- including those of public figures -- are private information, protected by law from unauthorized disclosure. Indeed, the Internal Revenue Service is barred from releasing any taxpayer information whatsoever, except to authorized agencies and individuals. Like all other citizens, U.S. presidents enjoy this protection of their privacy. Since the early 1970s, however, most presidents have chosen to release their returns publicly. In the hope of making this information more widely available, the Tax History Project at Tax Analysts has compiled an archive of presidential tax returns. Note: to view these files, you will need a free copy of the Adobe Acrobat Reader.
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"It's the most common major cancer in America, even though it affects only one sex. Lifetime odds of getting it are 1 in 6. Testing for it is controversial, and treating it robs many of a body part that's important to their sexuality. This isn't breast cancer, a disease tattooed into the American psyche. It is its male counterpart, which has made a much fainter mark. Prostate cancer gets a fraction of what is spent on breast cancer research, and virtually nothing is known about what causes it. It is the only cancer that doctors debate not just how to treat but whether they should at all. Nine out of 10 men don't need treatment but the rest will die, and there's no good way to tell them apart. It also kills at a higher rate than breast cancer. Nearly 32 men out of 100,000 will die of prostate cancer; 27 women out of 100,000 die of breast cancer."
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The Columbia Guide to Standard American English - - http://www.bartleby.com/68/ - - A vigorous assessment of how our language is best written and spoken and how we can use it most effectively, this guide is the ideal handbook of language etiquette: friendly, sensible, reliable, and fun to read. Its 6,500 entries contain thousands of examples, both descriptive and prescriptive, and feature 4,300 hyperlinked cross-references.
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"Black and Asian women with bachelor's degrees earn slightly more than similarly educated white women, and white men with four-year degrees make more than anyone else. A white woman with a bachelor's degree typically earned nearly $37,800 in 2003, compared with nearly $43,700 for a college-educated Asian woman and $41,100 for a college-educated black woman, according to data being released March 28, 2005, by the Census Bureau. Hispanic women took home slightly less at $37,600 a year. The bureau did not say why the differences exist. Economists and sociologists suggest possible factors: the tendency of minority women, especially blacks, to more often hold more than one job or work more than 40 hours a week, and the tendency of black professional women who take time off to have a child to return to the work force sooner than others."
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Academic Success Center - - http://gwired.gwu.edu/counsel/asc/ - - Welcome to the George Washington University Counseling Center's online guide to better academic results! Here you'll find a number of topics and links to resources that will help you study more effectively and improve academically. Use the links on the right to jump to any topic that pertains to your own situation. Forms and charts may be downloaded and printed as worksheets for your personal use.
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"Go ahead, have a piece of bread. Have three. Make it whole-grain, and you'll be following government advice for eating right. Three servings of whole grains each day will reduce your risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes. It doesn't have to be bread. Brown or wild rice, oatmeal, cold cereal flakes, popcorn - without the salt and butter - and even trail mix will do. Of all the new advice in the government's new dietary guidelines, eating enough whole grains may prove the easiest. But if eating whole grains is so easy, then why aren't people doing it now? Most Americans are eating one serving or less each day, according to the Agriculture Department. One reason may be that a little sleuthing is needed to figure out which foods have whole grains. Just because a bread slice is dark, or a cracker looks grainy, doesn't mean the whole grain is there. They could be darkened by molasses or other coloring."
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Smithsonian Education - - http://www.smithsonianeducation.org/ - - Educational content for students, families, and educators. Find teaching materials, links to hundreds of online resources, and access to the world's largest museum complex.
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"Getting a good night's sleep is hard for many adults and that often means poorer health, lower productivity on the job, more danger on the roads and a less vibrant sex life. 'By 3 to 4 in the afternoon, I'm starting to feel brain-drained and I need that caffeine to pick me back up again,' said Becky Mcerien, 50, of Philadelphia. She gets about 6.5 hours of sleep a night - slightly less than the adult average of 6.9 hours reported by the National Sleep Foundation. Many experts say adults need a minimum of seven to nine hours of sleep a night. A poll for the foundation, released March 29, 2005, indicates that three-quarters of adults say they frequently have a sleep problem, such as waking during the night or snoring. Most people ignore the problem and few think they actually have one. Only half of those polled were able to say they slept well on most nights. 'I get what I need to function,' said Guillermo Sardina, 55, of Hamilton, N.J., who averages six or seven hours a night. 'I sleep through the night. I'm a sound sleeper. ... I don't even remember my dreams.' One-fourth of adults say sleep problems have some impact on their daily lives."
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Safety From The Heart
April 7, 2005
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Tonya Powell.
National-NBC) April 7, 2005 - Stress puts millions of people in the hospital each year. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control say up to 90% of doctor's visits could involve a stress-related illness.

Dave Rivas is a 911 dispatcher and must also calm down callers to get the information they need to help save a life, "They don't know what to do and they are coming to you for help. And so you have to remain calm and try and help them. That's kind of stressful. You can't just freak out along with them."

Rivas says stress causes insomnia, high blood pressure, and weight gain, "Sometimes we don't eat healthy, a lot of times you don't eat healthy."

New research shows intense stress can actually injure your body's cells.. That it can speed up the aging process and expose you to disease.

Richard Avery is a psychotherapist who helps his patient's deal with stress. He sees the damage it does, "Muscle tension, headache, digestive problems, poor sleep."

Avery says you can't completely escape stress, but you can manage it by taking breaks and treating yourself well, "Just stop, and allow your mind to slow down and your body to settle." Rivas agrees, even though stress is a huge factor in his life, "But if you can just loosen up your grasp on whatever it is that's stressing you out, that's gonna help. That's what helped me."

Other tips for dealing with stress: exercise whenever you can. Ask for help with work or other chores and try prayer or meditation
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Safety From The Heart
April 6, 2005
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Jeff Broeker.
A reminder about the importance of grating inspections:

Safety Communication
Summary of Incident Investigation Report

INCIDENT: Grating Failure
TYPE OF INCIDENT: Potential fall from height
BRIEF ACCOUNT OF INCIDENT:

While working on furnaces during the TAR a mechanical fitter stepped on a grating that gave way under his weight. The platform was located at a height of approximately 30 feet above grade.

The grating tilted but did not fall to grade. The fitter's leg went through the resulting gap to about knee level, he was not injured in any way.

WHAT WENT WRONG (Critical Factors):

1. The grating was not adequately supported. No Bridging Clip was present and there was inadequate supporting steelwork underneath and the fundamental design of the gratings and support was poor.

2. Inspection process(es) did not identify the grating condition or the fact that the bridging clip was missing. Although grating inspection requirements were defined and had been completed the requirement to check for under grating support was not included and, as such, personnel were not fully trained in this aspect.

WHAT WENT WELL:
§ The incident was reported immediately
§ The TAR team suspended all work at height
§ Thorough grating checks were completed and recorded prior to work at height re-commencing

LESSONS LEARNED:
§ The specific under grating supports for the platform/s involved in this incident should be re-engineered to ensure their suitability
§ The requirements for the inspection of gratings should be revised to ensure that all potential failure modes are identified.
§ Training for personnel involved in grating inspections should be revised to include the issues highlighted above;
§ Review the Plant Modification Procedure to include a checklist item for access / egress changes and in particular, grating modifications
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Safety From The Heart
April 5, 2005
Today's Message is from Preeti Chugani at the Houston Albemarle plant..

A recommendation for allergy sufferers:
Wash your hair before sleeping if you've been outside.
Hair can act as a filter for allergens.

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Safety From The Heart
.April 4, 2005
Have a Safe Spring Cleaning
Prepared by Baton Rouge Tower Employee, Irma Calhoun

It's that time of year again! Spring is here, and it's nice enough outside to get out and clean up outside and inside the house. Just remember to be careful to keep yourself away from harmful situations as you deal with cleaning products, ladders, hired cleaning help, and any other people or products that may try to ruin your spring cleaning session -- if they're not handled correctly.

- Make Poison Prevention Part of Your Spring Cleaning Plan

Spring cleaning is an annual ritual that heralds the arrival of sunnier days and warmer weather. As you clean and organize your home, keep poison prevention top of mind.

Following is a room-by-room review of common household hazards. In the kitchen, make sure all household cleaning products are stored up high out of children's reach. Install child safety devices on all cabinets as an added measure of protection. Medicines should be kept in their original containers with the labels intact. Child-resistant caps help, but parents should not depend solely on these, as many children are able to open them. Do not store any medicines on the kitchen windowsill or countertop where an inquisitive child can see or reach them.

In the bathroom, safely throw out all old medicines by tying them tightly in a non see-through bag and taking them straight out to the trash. In bedrooms, look for any flaking paint on furniture, walls and windowsills. Make sure all perfumes and cosmetics are stored out of reach. In the laundry room, store soaps, cleaning detergents and other products in high, locked cabinets.

Diligence is key to poison prevention in the home. Also, remember to alert others to these potential hazards, especially caregivers and grandparents. If you suspect your child has come in contact with a poisonous substance, call the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin Poison Center immediately at
(800) 222-1222. Don't wait for symptoms to develop.

Irma M. Calhoun, Corporate Hazard Communication Analyst
Albemarle Corporation
Phone: 225-388-7011 Fax: 225-388-7017
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Safety From The Heart
April 4, 2005
This Safety from the Heart message was submitted by John Williams.

Last night at about 8pm I stopped at the EZ Shop Gas Station here in Orangeburg. There are enough pumps and space where 8 people can gas up at the same time. While I was putting gas in my car, another car pulled up. A young man that looked to be about 20 years old got out. He did not turn his car off but started to put gas in his car which had dual tail pipes.. Heavy smoke and heat were coming out of both tailpipes.

The fuel tank and its opening were located between the 2 tailpipes. There was a sign right at the pump which stated, "Turn off engine while refueling."

I asked him to please turn off his engine while refueling because I was afraid of the car being set on fire. He complied with my request. Static electricity or heat has caused thousands of serious burns, injuries and deaths while refueling.

Please use common sense while performing routine aspects of daily life. Do not become casual with flammable materials to the point of being stupid.. It can affect your life as well as others.

John L. Williams
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Safety From The Heart
April 1, 2005
As a follow-up to Allen Smoak's Safety From the Heart message on Hydroplaning, another Orangeburg employee mentioned that we should remind people not to use their cruise control when it is raining. The article below mentions not using the cruise control, plus it re-emphasizes points made in Allen's message.
Dorothy
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Safety From The Heart
Tips and Techniques for Driving in Rain
By Liz Kim and Joanne Helperin

The rain in Spain may stay mainly on the plain, but here in the States there's an awful lot of it on the roadway. Rain is blamed for thousands of accidents yearly. Many of these accidents are preventable, but are caused by intrepid drivers who don't realize that fair- and foul-weather driving are fundamentally different.

When the road is wet, the film of the water on the asphalt causes tires to lose traction. Less obvious is the fact that rain reduces driver perception ? it's harder to see through the rain ? and also decreases visibility through its action on headlights, windshields and the road itself. While most people know to slow down in the rain, there are definitely other tips that will help keep you, and those who share the road with you, from becoming a statistic.

Exercise extreme caution after a long dry spell. During a dry period, engine oil and grease build up on the road over time. When mixed with water from a new rainfall, the road becomes extremely slick. Continued rainfall will eventually wash away the oil, but the first few hours can be the most dangerous.

Allow for more travel time. You should plan to drive at a slower pace than normal when the roads are wet. Keep in mind that traffic is likely to be moving slower as well. There's also the possibility that your preplanned route may be flooded or jammed. Whatever the case, rushing equals higher risk.

Brake earlier and with less force than you would normally. Not only does this increase the stopping distance between you and the car in front of you, it also lets the driver behind you know that you're slowing down. Also, be more meticulous about using turn signals, so that other drivers know your intentions, and take turns and curves with less speed than you would in dry conditions.

Most of America's roads are crowned in the middle, which means that the water will run off to the sides. If possible, stay toward the middle of the road to avoid deep standing puddles.

Don't use cruise control. If you hydroplane, there's the chance your car could actually accelerate. Cruise control also allows drivers to be less vigilant and to take their foot away from the pedals ? not a great idea when reaction time is so important.

If you see a large puddle up ahead, drive around it or choose a different route. It could be that it's covering a huge gaping maw into the front door of hell. Well, maybe not, but water splashing up into your car's engine compartment could damage its internal electrical systems. Also, a pothole may be hiding under the water, just waiting in ambush to damage a wheel or knock your suspension out of alignment. If you can't gauge the depth, or if it's covering up the side curb, try to avoid it.

Don't attempt to cross running water. This ain't an SUV commercial, and you'll probably get into a heckuva lot of trouble if the force of the water is greater than the weight of your vehicle. All-wheel drive isn't going to be much help if your vehicle is being pushed sideways. Don't end up like those folks on the nightly news who had to abandon their cars to Mother Nature.

After you cross a puddle, tap on your brake pedal lightly to dry off some of the water on your rotors.

Turn on your headlights, even when there's a light sprinkle. It helps you see the road, and more importantly, it helps other motorists see you. However, don't blast your high beams in the rain or fog ? it'll obscure your view further, as the light will reflect back at you off the water droplets in the air. If your car is equipped with fog lights, you may find it helpful to turn these on, as they throw a little extra light on the road while making your car easier to see.

Watch out for pedestrians. An ordinarily observant pedestrian may become distracted by fiddling with an umbrella or a rain slicker. Plus, raindrops deaden sound, so the usual audio clues for measuring car distances become obscured. Keep a sharp lookout for people in the road.

If it's raining so hard that you can't see the road or the car in front of you, pull over and wait it out.

Track the car ahead of you. Let the car ahead pave a clear path, so to speak, through the water.

Give a truck or bus extra distance. Their extra-large tires can create enough spray to block your vision completely. Avoid passing one, but if you must pass, do it as quickly as safety allows.

Defog your windows. Rain will quickly cause your windshield to fog up. Switch on both front and rear defrosters and make sure the air conditioning is turned on. Most cars' climate control systems will automatically engage the A/C when the windshield defrost function is selected.

If you start to hydroplane, don't brake suddenly or turn the wheel, or you might spin into a skid. Release the gas pedal slowly and steer straight until the car regains traction. If you must brake, tap the brake pedal (unless you have antilock brakes, in which case you can put your foot down).

Now that you know how to drive in the rain, take some precautionary measures to ensure that your vehicle is prepared to get you through a downpour.

Stay on top of your car's condition. Its brakes, tire pressures, tire tread depth and defroster operation should be checked regularly so that you'll be ready to deal with a deluge when the time comes.

Most vehicles are available with antilock brakes these days, and safety features like traction control, stability control and all-wheel drive are becoming increasingly popular as well. Although all-wheel drive is really only necessary if you frequently drive in snow and ice, traction and stability control can be very handy on rain-soaked roads. Traction control helps you maintain grip by putting the brakes on the tire(s) that don't have traction, while a stability control system monitors your steering input, intervening with the brakes and/or reducing engine power as needed to keep you on your intended path.

Although several tire manufacturers design tires specifically for wet roads, a good set of all-season tires will do the job for most drivers. Trouble is, some tire models are better than others in the rain. If you aren't happy with the wet-weather performance of your car's original equipment tires, we suggest you check out the Tire Decision Guide at Tire Rack. Along with helping you identify tires that fit your car and your driving habits, Tire Rack allows you to see how other consumers rate the tire in a variety of categories, including wet-weather traction. An experienced tire store manager can also be a good source of recommendations.

Make sure that your wipers are in good condition and functioning properly. If the blades are brittle or damaged, replace them before you're caught in a downpour. Some wipers are definitely better than others, so ask your retailer for recommendations.

Every car should have a good emergency kit ? and not the $10 jobs you buy at the car wash. Sites like Brookstone, RightTrak and Emergency Preparedness Center offer pre-assembled kits that come in handy carrying cases. The contents of these kits vary, but when driving in rough weather, a tow rope is always a good idea ? just in case. For ideas on how to create your own more complete kit, check out our article, "Create Your Own Roadside Emergency Kit."

In a perfect world, rainy days would find us hanging out at the local coffeehouse or holed up at home, petting the dog by the fire. Reality being what it is, you probably still have to dredge up enough moxie to go to work instead. Taking a few precautions and using wet-weather driving techniques will keep you from ending up sopping wet on the shoulder of the freeway, waiting for a tow truck. Or worse.

http://www.edmunds.com/ownership/safety/articles/45401/article.html

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Safety From The Heart
March 31, 2005
Pets Inside the House
Today's Message is from Mo Munoz (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Do you have an outside pet in your house? I do and that little poodle is so much part of our lives that she growls and barks when I approach to kiss my wife just to let me know I'm intruding. She lets me know when it is time for me, the doorman, to open the door to go outside and starts pounding on the door when I'm a little slow in letting her back in. She is bathed regularly and I still have to spend some money for the Dog Salon to groom her like the little queen that she is. We have a friendly Vet that sends us reminders to bring her in for exams or shots. But, is that enough to keep us safe from anything she may be carrying; I hope so.

I have a young lovely niece who also has an outside dog in her house. The doctors concluded that a tick, possibly from her dog, had bitten her and now she is diagnosed with Lyme Disease. In the past two years that she has been battling this disease, she has emotional distress, fatigue, joint aches, and heart problems. All of these symptoms are of Lyme Disease.

An article from CDC Division of Vector-Borne Infectious Diseases, indicates that "individuals who live or work in residential areas surrounded by tick-infested woods or overgrown brush are at risk of getting Lyme disease. Persons who work or play in their yard, participate in recreational activities away from home such as hiking, camping, fishing and hunting, or engage in outdoor occupations, such as landscaping, brush cleaning, forestry, and wildlife and parks management in endemic areas may also be at risk of getting Lyme disease. Prevention measures can be effective in reducing your exposure to infected ticks, and most people can be successfully treated with antibiotic therapy when diagnosed in the early stages of Lyme disease."

My son just recently had a bad experience. They have a cat that is kept in the house but of course is let out in the yard. My son ended up in the hospital for several days being pumped full of antibiotics for an infection from a unknown insect bite. My son and daughter-in-law concluded that the cat came into the closet and laid on my son's favorite shorts which he kept on the closet floor. Whatever the cat carried in got on my son's shorts and then on him when he put them on to go outside. The cat, well, she still goes in and out of the house and they have taken precautions so this bad experience won't repeat itself. I would have gotten rid of the cat, By Golly George!!

Seriously though, I hope awareness of these bad experiences may help others take precautionary measures to keep their family and pets healthy and free of infectious disease-carrying bugs. One can't be too careful when it comes to the safety of our loved ones; and yes, that includes pets.

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Safety From The Heart
March 30, 2005
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Allen Smoak.
Hydroplaning::::

Last week while re-fueling my truck with liquid gold at a local service station, storm clouds rolled in and turned a sunny day into a thunderous afternoon of rainy downpour. I proceeded to the station exit that was furtherest from the 4-lane intersection and waited for traffic to subside before crossing the oncoming traffic lanes. Waiting for the last truck, a Ford Ranger, to pass, I was thinking about how nice my truck looked after repairs were made after a collision with a deer no more than three weeks ago............then suddenly the Ford Ranger was hydroplaning...veering in my direction!

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and slid over in my seat to hopefully prevent contact with me personally once we collided. The Ranger's front wheels were turned completely to the left...the truck still traveling toward me. With no more than ten feet to travel before contact was made with my truck, the front wheels of the Ranger hit the sidewalk curbing. The truck crossed two lanes..the paved median...and into the left lane of oncoming traffic.

Fortunately, no vehicles were in that left lane. The driver had straightened his front wheels; however, his speed carried him through the intersection...his light was green. We all dodged a frightening accident that afternoon.

Please remember:::
- Slow one's speed during wet conditions...
- The first 15 minutes of rain are the most dangerous on the highways, because the water lifts the oils that have accumulated on the roads making steering and stopping more difficult...
- Check one's tires....are they rain weather worthy...
- Watch for ruts in our roads...heavy tractor trailer traffic forms indentations that collect water making
hydroplaning an additional hazard to deal with while driving...
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Safety From The Heart
March 29, 2005
Today's Message is from Dick Waller (a Houston Albemarle employee).

It is so very dangerous in this day and age, what with all the changes being made and the distractions that we face. Keep your mind on safety and eliminate one distraction. Let's be careful out there.

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Safety From The Heart
March 25, 2005
Safety from the Heart by Annie M. Brown
Tips for Youth Group Travel

Travel is an exciting experience that will introduce youth to new places, new people and new cultures. As a youth director, I have found that travel can create memories that will last a lifetime. However, there are certain precautions parents, students and college age travelers should take to make sure that their trip goes smoothly and safely.

The following are travel guidelines and reminders about safety that I have found will help avoid many possible problems.

General Protection
 Do not carry too much cash. Traveler's checks are preferable as long as you have proper ID.
 Bring an extra pair of prescription glasses and/or contact lenses in case of loss.
 Wear waterproof, inexpensive watch and do not wear expensive jewelry. Expensive items can be lost, stolen or damaged, plus they can make you or your child a target for thieves.
 Pack a simple "first aid" kit containing adhesive bandages, first aid or anti-biotic cream and pain relievers, etc.
 Keep any prescription medication in its original container, and bring a photocopy of all current prescriptions so they can more easily be replaced if lost.
 Alert trip leaders of any medication you or your child may be taking.
 Bring disposable or inexpensive cameras.

Questions Parents Should Ask
Parents, do you know:
 The phone and fax number(s) of the hotel(s) being used on the trip?
 The 24-hour contact information for your child's travel provider that you can use in case of an emergency?
 If the travel provider is experienced in youth and student travel?
 How many chaperones are accompanying the trip, and who they are?
 If the hotel has 24-hour security?
 If the tour directors/group leaders will have a cell phone on them at all times to use in case of emergency?
 Exactly what is included in the price (meal, admission to attractions, etc.) and what additional costs should be expected on tour?
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Like most elementary schools, it was typical to have a parade of students in and out of the health clinic throughout the day. We dispensed ice for
bumps and bruises, Band-Aids for cuts, and liberal doses of sympathy and hugs. As principal, my office was right next door to the clinic, so I often
dropped in to lend a hand and help out with the hugs. I knew that for some kids, mine might be the only one they . got all day

One morning I was putting a Band-Aid on a little girl's scraped knee, her blonde hair was matted, and I noticed that she was shivering in her thin
little sleeveless blouse. I found her a warm sweatshirt and helped her pull it on.

"Thanks for taking care of me," she whispered as she climbed into my lap and snuggled up against me.

It wasn't long after that when I ran across an unfamiliar lump under my arm. Cancer, an aggressively spreading kind had already invaded thirteen of my lymph nodes. I pondered whether or not to tell the students about my diagnosis. The word breast seemed so hard to say out loud to them, and the word cancer seemed so frightening.

When it became evident that the children were going to find out one way or another, either the straight scoop from me or possibly a garbled version from someone else. I decided to tell them myself. It wasn't easy to get the words out, but the empathy and concern I saw in their faces as I explained it to them told me I had made the right decision. When I gave them a chance to ask questions, they mostly wanted to know how they could help. I told them that what I would like best would be their letters, pictures, and prayers.

I stood by the gym door as the children solemnly filed out. My little blonde friend darted out of line and threw herself into my arms. Then she
stepped back to look up into my face. "Don't be afraid Dr Perry" she said earnestly, "I know you'll be back because now it's our turn to take care of
you".

No one could have ever done a better job. The kids sent me off to my first chemotherapy session with a hilarious book of nausea remedies that they had
written. A video of every class in the school singing get-well songs accompanied me to the next chemotherapy appointment. By the third visit,
the nurses were waiting at the door to find out what I would bring next. It was a delicate music box that played "I Will Always Love You."

Even when I went into isolation at the hospital for a bone marrow transplant, the letters and pictures kept coming until they covered every wall of my room.

Then the kids traced their hands onto colored paper, cut them out, and glued them together to make a freestanding rainbow of helping hands. "I feel like I've stepped into Disneyland every time I walk into this room," my doctor laughed. That was even before the six-foot apple blossom tree arrived, adorned with messages written on paper apples from the students and teachers. What healing comfort I found in being surrounded by these tokens of their caring.

At long last I was well enough to return to work. As I headed up the road to the school, I was suddenly overcome by doubts. What if the kids have forgotten all about me? I wondered. What if they don't want a skinny bald principal? I caught sight of the school marquee as I rounded the bend, "Welcome Back Dr Perry," it read. As I drew closer, everywhere I looked there were pink ribbons, ribbons in the windows, tied on the doorknobs,even up in the trees. The children and staff wore pink ribbons too.

My blonde buddy was first in line to greet me. "You're back Dr. Perry !" you're back she called. "See, I told you we'd take care of you!"

As I hugged her tight, in the back of my mind I faintly heard my music boxplaying . . . "I will always love you."

:Subject Breast Cancer Stamp Booklet
We need those of you who are great at forwarding on information -with youre mail .network Please read and pass this on. It would be wonderful if 2005
were the year a cure for breast cancer was found!!!!

This is one email you should be glad to pass on. The notion that we couldraise $35 million by buying a book of stamps is powerful! As you may beaware, the US Postal Service recently released its new "Fund the Cure"
stamp to help fund breast cancer research. The stamp was designed by Ethel Kessler of Bethesda, Maryland. It is important that we take a stand against this disease that affects so many of our Mothers, Sisters and Friends.

Instead of the normal 37 cents for a stamp, this one costs 40 cents The additional 3 cents will go to breast cancer research. A "normal" book costs
$7.40. This one is only $8.00. It takes a few minutes in line at the Post Office and means so much. If all stamps are sold, it will raise an additional $35,000,000 for this vital research. Just as important as the money is our support. What a statement it would make if the stamp outsold the lottery this week. What a statement it would make that we care.

Thanks to Jim Bussey
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TGIF-Today God Is First

CNBC will re-air their story "God and Money" Sunday, April 10th at 9pm Eastern. Much of the coverage includes faith in the workplace. Be sure to tune in if you have not seen it. http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/CNBCTV/TV_Info/Schedule.asp

Friendship in the Pit
Friday, April 08, 2005
by Os Hillman

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. ~ Proverbs 17:17

"I am in there again," I told my friend. "The pit." A time when no one can cheer you up and you wonder if there ever was or is a God. Have you ever had such times? Discouragement can be devastating even to the best of saints. It can bring us so low. The writer of Proverbs phrased it well when he said, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). When we get so low that we despair of our belief, we can identify with the prophet Elijah who wanted to die after being so discouraged with life.

"I'm coming over," my friend said.

"Aw, you don't have to do that," I said.

"I'm coming over. We're going to pray."

About 30 minutes later my friend walked in the door. We sat down on the living room floor and simply lay on our backs as my friend began to pray. I didn't feel like praying. I was too deep in the pit. All I could do was listen. After awhile my friend was quiet. We both sat quietly for ten to fifteen minutes, praying quietly to ourselves. Suddenly my friend said, "First Thessalonians 5:24!"

"What verse is that?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "That is the verse He spoke to me."

I grabbed my Bible and looked up the verse. "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

We laughed. Can He be so personal? Can He care that much? That night I grew more in my love of my two friends, not to mention being brought out of the pit.

Do you have a friend who is there when you need somebody at any hour of the day? Are you there for your friend? Ask the Lord how you can be a better friend to someone today.

Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
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To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2004
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Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Os Hillman Copyright 2004
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Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - - Eph 4:30 - 32 (NASB)

Imagine for a moment that you have a rich uncle who has chosen you as his pet nephew/niece. He buys you a new sports car on your 16th birthday. He replaces it when you graduate from high school. He pays for your college. He never forgets your birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, and just about any other excuse of a day to send you extravagant gifts. When you graduate from college, he informs you that you are the sole heir of all he has.

How do you treat him? Do you criticize every thing he does? Do you despise him? Do you wish he would find some other cousin to dote on? Of course not! You do all that is within your power to keep him happy. You sent him thank you cards. You keep him informed of your activities. You enjoy visiting with him whenever he wants. You do this because he is your benefactor – because of what he has done for you. He has given every assurance that your future will be bright and successful. You do everything in your power to keep from “grieving” him!

Now you can begin to grasp what Paul is saying about grieving the Holy Spirit. It is he who is the assurance that your eternal future is secure. He is the seal that guarantees your adoption into the family of God. Obviously, you don’t want to cross Him or make Him sad, and that is done by all of the negatives that we have seen in the previous and present verses. We don’t steal. We don’t say hurtful things. We don’t become bitter. We don’t become consumed with bitterness. We don’t let our anger turn to wrath. And the list goes on!

Instead, we look at others as objects of our love and affection (and I am speaking in purity here). We place others needs and feelings before our own. When they hurt, we hurt. When they cry, we cry. When they rejoice, we rejoice. The last thing on earth we would ever want to do is hurt them. Most of all, when they do something that harms us, they sin against us, we willingly and freely forgive … “just as God in Christ also has forgiven” us.

Unfortunately, many people have a tendency to despise their rich uncles. They take the wealth and blessings for granted, neither thanking nor really appreciating what their benefactor has done for them or promises to do for them.

Likewise, may believers react the same way towards the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ, and Father God. They view the Godhead as their personal slave and demand that they be given whatever they want. They look at other believers as things to be used for their own pleasure. They hold grudges and seek revenge for every offence. Brothers and Sisters, THIS is “grieving the Holy Spirit”!

Take a moment and evaluate your relationship with God … as it is reflected in your relationship with those around you. Be honest. Which way do you lean? Are you a grateful recipient of God’s grace … or do you tend to grieve the Holy Spirit?

Harley
~==~
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; - - Eph 5:1 (NASB)

Being raised in the north, I well remember snow. When I was a young, the snow often drifted to my waist. I was a kid. I loved snow. I loved big snows. I also remember walking in the snow with my dad. I don’t think Dad liked the snow nearly as much as I did. He was more than willing to let me shovel it off the driveway and sidewalks. On occasion, Dad and I had to make a journey to the back shed for something or other. Now the deepest drifts grew in the back yard between these two edifices. Dad would take the lead and I would follow. In the shallower parts, I would try to walk in Dad’s footsteps. He must have shortened his stride to accommodate my five-year-old steps because it seemed that I was always able to do it if I stretched or jumped enough. But, when the drifts became too deep for me to step over, Dad would break a path for me to follow. I wanted to be like Dad. I wanted to walk like him. I did my best to talk like him, and no one’s dad was as smart, or knew more people, or was as good as my dad was.

As Paul begins a new thought, he encourages us to be imitators of God … “as beloved children”. Here I am, a man of multiple decades, longing to walk in the footsteps of Daddy … again. Only the footsteps are bigger, and the terrain is rougher, and the dangers are much more real. Several thoughts come to mind as I ponder this command of Paul.

First, I wonder how I can walk in God’s footsteps if I can’t see Him. He is not physical … hasn’t been since Jesus walked the dusty paths of Israel. If I can’t see His steps, how can I possibly walk in them? When I was a Boy Scout, I learned to read a compass and a map. I learned to overlay the compass on any map and know how to find the shortest path, or the quickest path, or the safest path to a particular location. I really became fairly good at it. I could eventually take a map of a place I had never been and a set of instructions to a particular location in that place and actually get there without difficulty! Now if I could only find a real TREASURE MAP! How do I follow God’s footsteps? I read the map and follow the instructions! The Bible is the map and Paul is one of the creators of that Map. Now the Apostle will lay out a set of instruction telling us how to get where God wants to go.

Second, I wonder if I am big enough to step in His footsteps when I recognize them. This is where it helps me to understand who I am in Christ. I am God’s beloved son. I am under the direction of God’s Holy Spirit. I have all the resources that I need to accomplish the task God has given me to do … and this is vitally important to remember. When I know who I am, I understand that I can do what He asks and I can go where He sends because I CAN walk in His footsteps.

Third, I wonder if God cares enough about me to break the path before me. In answer to that question, all I need to recall is that I know who God is. He is my loving Father. He specifically chose me. He will never ask me to do something that can’t be done … and more importantly, He will never ask me to do something that I can’t do. When I know who God is, and I know who I am in Christ, and I have even a basic understanding of God’s Word, then I and walk where He walks. I can say what He says. I can do what He wants me to do.

Now, we will see what God wants us to imitate. Ready? Let’s go!

Harley
~==~
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. - - Eph 5:3 - 5 (NASB)

I have always been interested in science. I remember watching the very early Walt Disney documentaries about space. Disney, even then, had a way of interspersing animations with real live video, though it was very primitive by today’s standards. One lesson that I learned at a very young age is Newton’s Third Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. A cartoon “professor” with gray (or white in black and white days) hair and flowing mustache, pointed to the appropriate equation and presented a mini-lecture on what Newton meant. This was followed by real live shots of early rocket shots – usually the ones in which the rocket lifted about three feet off the launching pad … and fell over on its side! Eventually the scientists discovered how to get enough “action” in order to propel a rocket into the upper atmosphere. This was long before the first man orbited the earth or the first men stepped foot on the moon. I was hooked on Newton’s Third Law … and science.

Paul presents a different version of Newton’s law. “For every bad habit given up, there must be an equal and opposite good habit to replace it.” No, Paul didn’t say it that way, but take a look at today’s verses. Paul begins with a list of things we should not be doing. That is typical. He did that in almost every epistle he wrote. But note the middle of the verses. See these words: “but rather”? The teacher has been speaking of immorality and greed focused primarily on the spoken sins: filthiness, silly talk, and course jesting. He tells us that these things are not to be a part of our daily lives, our daily walk. That’s fine, but what happens when these are gone?

What happens when the air is sucked out of a plastic bottle? It collapses. The same thing happens to the “moral man” who just tries to “do good”. Most often, he succeeds to a decent extent. Nevertheless, Jesus taught us that a “good” man will not enter the Kingdom of God. The end result is failure … total collapse and loss of life. Ah, but what happens when the vacuum is replaced by another substance, inert gas, for example. The bottle does not collapse. It retains it shape.

Paul, long before Newton and all the other scientists, knew that fact. So he suggests a “replacement”, a change of focus, for the sins given up: “… but rather giving thanks.” The sins of speech are replaced with a positive substitute, thanksgiving. Good choice! We could all use a good dose of giving … and receiving … thanks. I know I, for one, fail to say “thank you” enough, though I am seriously working on that failure. And, who among us would refuse a heartfelt “thanks” from someone for whom we do something nice? You do an extra good job on a project for the boss. Doesn’t it lift you when he pauses to say, “Thanks, good job”? You fix your husband’s favorite meal. Doesn’t it warm you when he walks over to you as you clear the dishes and says, “Sweetheart, that was the best meal. Thank you.”? We need to allow thanksgiving to replace the vacuum left after we “clean up our verbal act”.

Paul finishes with an additional reminder that immoral people don’t get to heaven. Of course, we must remember that this is all in the context of salvation through Jesus Christ, so is must be assumed that the readers understand that only the moral man who is redeemed by Jesus can possibly achieve the goal of residence in Heaven. Let’s remember, that for every sin we give up, we must replace it with a positive focused on Jesus.

Harley
~==~
… and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. - - Eph 5:2 (NASB)

I’m not a farm boy, but I’ve been on a farm, and this I know: when in a pasture, there are some things you just don’t want to walk in! The same goes for creeks, and hen houses, and a million other places. However, in the process of imitating God, there is one thing we can walk in and not be afraid to step into the kitchen for supper. We can walk in love. The Greeks had at least four words for “love”. Three of them are found in the New Testament. The Bible talks about “friendship” love, “marital” love, and “sacrificial” love. The fourth is Playboy kind of “love”, or worse, which is far removed in meaning from the other three. The “love” that Paul is using here is the sacrificial kind, agape. We know what that love is like because the Apostle tells us plainly. “… just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us …”

There are varying degrees of “giving up”, at least from the earthly standpoint. In baseball, we call it the sacrifice fly – a play in which the hitter, whether intentional or not, hits a fly ball to an outfielder in such a way that the man on base is able to advance after the ball is caught. Another type of “giving up” is used in football. A star player, usually a great receiver, will be used as a decoy. He will make an obvious run down field as though he is the intended recipient of a pass. The quarterback will even look his way convincing the defensive team that the pass will go that way. The defense will usually double team that receiver in order to prevent a successful play … all the while a lesser known player, who is now unguarded, is the intended receiver. While both of these has a semblance of what Paul is saying, and I could spiritualize both games by claiming the analogy has religious overtones, neither comes close to the real meaning of agape, sacrificial love.

Jesus not only “gave Himself up for us,” He became “an offering and a sacrifice to God …” Have you ever wondered what difference there is between an offering and a sacrifice? Someone explained it this way: a chicken makes an offering to the farmer’s breakfast in the form of an egg. The pig makes a sacrifice in the form of bacon. Jesus was both. He gave Himself as an offering because He relinquished His position in Heaven to become a man. He had it made. He was the only Son of God. He sat at the right hand of the Father. He was there when the foundations of the universe were laid. He was a participant in the creation of everything. He was untouchable and wealthy beyond imagination. He had it all … but He gave it all up, He sacrificed it, for our benefit.

Then, when the fullness of time demanded it, He allowed Himself to be sacrificed on an altar made of wood and suffered a death that we can hardly imagine … and He did it to pay the price, the penalty, for my sins and your sins. Do you recall what the penalty for sin was … and is? Death! You have sinned. I have sinned. We are all deserving of the death penalty. But God decided that you and I needed a second chance. He sent Jesus to pay that price. Jesus willingly, after making an offering of Himself, became the sacrifice that would pay the penalty for our sins.

And what is the reward for that sacrifice? He became a fragrant aroma before the Father. In the Old Testament, offerings were often poured out on the altar. They were presented as a fragrant aroma. What’s more, burnt offerings were placed on the Altar of Burnt Sacrifice where they were roasted. The priests were allowed to pull of their share of the sacrifice, so not all of the sin offerings were burned to a crisp. I can imagine the Temple area at times smelling like one big, glorious barbeque. That is a hint of the picture Paul is drawing for us. Sure, the crucifixion was horrible. It still, though removed by two thousand years, a horrible way to die. But God saw it as a thing of beauty … not in aesthetics, but in its accomplishments. That offering, that sacrifice, resulted in billions of people returning to a right relationship with the Father.

That, my friends, is the kind of love that God walks in. And, that is the kind of love He wants us to walk in as well!
Harley
~==~
c. 2005 Harley E. Hudson

If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@earthlink.net and request a free subscription.
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Mt Vernon VFD crawfish boil April 9, 10:30 till we run out
Where: Courthouse Square, East
Why: Rocky Roberson Fire Station
Mount Vernon Volunteer Fire Department will be having a crawfish boil on Saturday, April 9, 2005 from 10:30AM till we run out on the East Courthouse Square. The proceeds will go to the development of our new fire station. The station will be named in honor of Bob "Rocky" Roberson, one of the two founding members of MVVFD who succumbed to cancer earlier this year.
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Blood Drive - Date Moved to Friday, April 22
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NRA Personal Protection Course - April 22 & 23
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12th ANNUAL ALBEMARLE BASS TOURNAMENT
When: Saturday, May 14, 2005
Where: Lake Columbia ? North Shore Landing
Time: 6:00 a.m. ? 2:00 p.m.

Entry Fee: $30.00 per boat plus $10.00 per team for Big Bass Contest
1st - 50% of entries
2nd - 30% of entries
3rd - 20% of entries
PRIZES TO BE GIVEN IN RANDOM DRAWING
Big Bass Pot 1st - 75% 2nd -25%
~~~
May 20 & 21 - Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off. Tickets and/or Information 800-482-3330. Www.magnoliachamber.com
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Warrant Officer Charles G. Wells Jr., 32, of Montgomery, Ala., died March 30 as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 6th Motor Transport Battalion, 4th Force Service Support Group, Orlando, Fla.

02. Spc. Eric L. Toth, 21, of Edmonton, Ky., died March 30 on a supply route when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Toth was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 623rd Field Artillery Regiment, Tompkinsville, Ky.

03. Lance Cpl. Tenzin Dengkhim, 19, of Falls Church, Va., died April 2 as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

04. Sgt. Kenneth L. Ridgley, 30, of Olney, Ill., died March 30 in Mosul, Iraq, of injuries sustained when enemy forces using small arms fire attacked his unit. Ridgley was assigned to the Army’s 3rd Battalion, 21st Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 25th Infantry Division (Stryker Brigade Combat Team), Fort Lewis, Wash.

05. Staff Sgt. Ioasa F. Tavae, Jr., 29, of Pago Pago, American Samoa, died April 2, in Mosul, Iraq, when his unit was attacked by enemy forces using small arms fire. Tavae was assigned to the Army’s 1st Battalion, 5th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

06. Sgt. James A. Sherrill, 27, of Ekron, Ky., died April 3, in Bayji, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his military vehicle. Sherrill was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 2113th Transportation Company, Paducah, Ky.

07. Cpl. Garrywesley T. Rimes, 30, of Santa Maria, Calif., died April 1 as a result of hostile action in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, Rimes was attached to 2nd Marine Division.

08. Master Sergeant Robbie D. McNary, 42, of Lewistown, Mont., died March 31, in Hawijah, Iraq, from injuries sustained while performing combat operations. McNary was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 163rd Mechanized Infantry Regiment, Missoula, Mont.

09. Sgt. Kelly S. Morris, 24, of Boise, Idaho, died March 30, in Baghdad, Iraq, from injuries sustained from enemy small arms fire. Morris was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 64th Armor Regiment, 3d Infantry Division from Fort Stewart, Ga.

10. Cpl. William D. Richardson, 23, of Moreno Valley, Calif., died April 3, in Baghdad, Iraq, when he came under enemy fire and fell into a canal. Richardson was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 41st Infantry Regiment, 1st Armored Division, Fort Riley, Kansas.

11. Sgt. Javier J. Garcia, 25, of Crawfordville, Fla., died April 5 in Baghdad, Iraq, when improvised explosive devices detonated near his patrol. Garcia was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 64th Armor Regiment, 3d Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.

12. Lance Cpl. Juan C. Venegas, 21, of Simi Valley, Calif., died April 7 as a result of a vehicle accident while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, Venegas was attached to Regimental Combat Team 8, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force.

13. Spc. Glenn J. Watkins, 42, of Carlsbad, Calif., died April 5 in Baghdad, Iraq, when a vehicle-born improvised explosive device detonated near his military vehicle. Watkins was assigned to the Army National Guard’s 1st Battalion, 161st Infantry, Kent, Wash.
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Remember that for every soldier killed in modern war, 10 are wounded. Don't forget to pray for them and their families.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 1:21-22 Heb 9:27-28 Isa 40:27-29 1 Cor 12:12-14,17-20 Psa 19:14
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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