Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Canine Complex

Volume 7, Issue 31

Hello All,

We got quite a scare last Saturday evening when Annette suddenly suffered SEVERE chest pain.
David and Bobbie had just served us a GREAT meal and everyone was sitting in the living room when the pain struck Annette. A flying trip to the ER got us to Paula and team who did a GREAT job taking care of us. All her tests were negative for heart problems (and Paula made sure they checked out EVERYTHING) so they concentrated on getting the pain under control. When they got pain meds in Annette that knocked her out, she slept the rest if the night and woke Sunday with only a sore chest.
The conclusion was that she probably had Acid Reflux or a kidney problem. I can’t say enough about the crew at the Magnolia ER who took care of us. Also, thanks to all the MCC crew who came down to check on us and pray for Annette.
~~~~~
It was a tough week emotionally (and temperature wise.)
Pastor Marcus announced his resignation Sunday. He, Brook and Ashlyn will be moving to New York to work with Bill Wilson’s Metro Ministries [http://www.metroministries.org]. Metro Ministries is the largest Sunday School in the United States, currently averaging well over 20,000 children 12 years old and under weekly. Even though it’s a great opportunity for the Brown’s, it’s a real blow to us. We don’t like to switch Pastors every few years.
~~~~~
I helped lay the body of my good friend Ben Montgomery to rest Monday. It was a hard thing for us, even though we know he’s in Heaven with our Lord now.
Ben was one of the finest men I know. He was always ready to give of himself and at the same time he wasn’t hesitant to speak up for what he knew was right or to correct a wrong.
His funeral was highlighted by a letter from Brother Paul relating how Ben first challenged him to speak up for God and prayer. Ben’s son gave the eulogy, reminding all of how Ben felt that a man should be a father first and everything else second.
~~~~~
So I’ve been a little down much of the week and it was a real soul repair job when a coworker told me the story of his meth addicted son. Seems the young man was near death after doing meth for eight years. He’d lost his family and his health. When he was arrested and jailed, Robert refused to bail him out. “We’d finally come to the realization that there was nothing we could do and turned him over to the Lord.” he related.
It may seem heartless but the young man was saved and delivered from drugs there in the jail. He’s now out, clean, has his daughters back, is working and dating a fine Christian woman.
Thanks Lord. I needed that.
~~~~~
The Shuttle is back in space for the first time since the Columbia disaster in February of 2003. It hasn’t been a smooth restart. A window cover fell off and stopped the countdown while they assessed the damage. Then a faulty fuel sensor delayed it until NASA decided to ignore the fault.
In spite of the difficulties, it would be a TREMENDOUS mistake for us to abandon our space program.
Angie Caldwell a fellow child of the space program (one who really lived in the community of U.S. Astronauts and grew up with their kids) sent us this commentary by Gene Kranz.
~
If you have not read Mr. Kranz's book, you are missing out.
Angie

Eugene F. Kranz, author of "Failure Is Not an Option: Mission Control From Mercury to Apollo 13 and Beyond," is a former Apollo flight director.
~
TO read and listen to the coverage of the ongoing mission of Space Shuttle Discovery, you would think NASA's mission team have taken careless risks with the lives of the seven astronauts who went into space last Tuesday. During the launch, foam fell off the external tank. For the risk-averse, the only acceptable thing to do now is retire the shuttle program immediately and wait for the divine arrival of the next generation of spacecraft. I am disgusted at the lack of courage and common sense this attitude shows.

All progress involves risk. Risk is essential to fuel the economic engine of our nation. And risk is essential to renew American's fundamental spirit of discovery so we remain competitive with the rest of the world.

My take on the current mission is very straightforward. The shuttle is in orbit. To a great extent mission managers have given the spacecraft a clean bill of health. Let us remember that this is a test flight. I consider it a remarkably successful test so far.

The technical response to the Columbia accident led to a dramatic reduction in the amount of debris striking this shuttle during launch. Mission managers have said that the external tank shed 80 percent less foam this time than on previous launches. Only in the news media, apparently, is an 80 percent improvement considered a failure. Rather than quit, we must now try to reduce even more greatly the amount of foam that comes off the tank.

The instruments and video equipment developed to assess the launch performance and monitor debris falling from the tank worked superbly. For the first time, the mission team knows what is happening, when it is happening and the flight conditions under which it occurred. This was a major mission objective, and it is an impressive achievement.

Having spent more than three decades working in the space program, I know that all of the flights of the early days involved some levels of risk. Some of those risks, in hindsight, seem incomprehensible by today's timid standards. If we had quit when we had our first difficulties in Project Mercury, we would have never launched John Glenn on the Atlas rocket Friendship 7 in 1961. Two of the previous five Atlas rockets test-fired before Friendship 7 had exploded on liftoff.

On Gemini 9, 10 and 11, all in 1966, we had complications with planned space walks that placed the astronauts at risk. Rather than cancel the walks, we faced the risks and solved the problems. These set the stage for Gemini 12 later that year, during which Buzz Aldrin spent more than five hours outside the capsule and confirmed to NASA that space walks could be considered an operational capability.

Eventually, this capability enabled astronauts to retrieve satellites and repair and maintain the Hubble space telescope; and during the current mission, space walks were used to repair a gyroscope on the International Space Station and will allow the crew to fix some of the damage on that occurred during the launch. These are the rewards for the risks we took on those early Gemini flights.

I understand the tragedy inherent in risk-taking; I witnessed the fire aboard Apollo that killed its three crew members. It filled us with anger at ourselves and with the resolve to make it right. After the fire we didn't quit; we redesigned the Apollo command module. During the Apollo missions that followed, we were never perfect. But we were determined and competent and that made these missions successful.

I see the same combination of anger, resolve and determination in the Space Shuttle program today. These people are professionals who understand the business of risk, how to reduce risk and making that which remains acceptable. Most important, the current mission has demonstrated the maturity of the shuttle team that went through the tragedy of Columbia and had the guts to persevere. This is the most important aspect of the recovery from the Columbia accident, and is a credit to the great team NASA now has in place, headed by its administrator, Michael Griffin.

There are many nations in the world that wish to surpass us in space. Does the "quit now" crowd really believe that abandoning the shuttle and International Space Station is the way to keep America the pre-eminent space-faring nation? Do they really believe that a new spacecraft will come without an engineering challenge or a human toll? The path the naysayers suggest is so out of touch with the American character of perseverance, hard work and discovery that they don't even realize the danger in which they are putting future astronauts. Not to mention our nation’s $$$.

Eugene F. Kranz
~~~~~
Jimmy and Vanessa moved into their Springhill home this evening. It’s a great to see them getting settled. Josiah will have a great time running around the yard and playing with the cows.
~~~~~
Elaine and Summer finished my Mirror Mosaic wall today. Y’all have to come by and see it.
~~~~~
60 years ago tomorrow, we dropped the first atomic bomb in war. On August 6, 1945 the Enola Gay, an American B-29 Superfortress bomber, dropped that first atomic bomb on the western Japanese city of Hiroshima.
With a cushion of 60 years, many can now argue that we didn’t need to use the bomb to end the war with Japan. They’ve forgotten Iwo Jima and Okinawa and how many lives were lost on those islands. They’ve forgotten that we were still finding Japanese soldiers who’d been isolated on pacific islands and continued to fight 20 years later.
One of my favorite Robert Frost poems comments on the Hiroshima bombing; U.S. 1946 King's X: "Having invented a new Holocaust,/And been the first with it to win a war,/How they make haste to cry with fingers crossed,/King's X--no fairs to use it anymore!"
Another commentary I saw was on a tee shirt sold at the Yucca Flats Nuclear Test Site. It read; “Nuclear Weapons - Made in America - Tested in Japan.”
~~~~~
ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: Standard Oil is born (1882)
Standard Oil was created by John D. Rockefeller, using the process of vertical integration to combine all stages of oil refining under one company. Ida Tarbell's muckraking "History of the Standard Oil Company" later exposed abuses in an early example of investigative journalism. In 1911, the U.S. broke up the petroleum giant, enforcing the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. Standard Oil's legacy, however, is massive and includes successor companies such as Exxon-Mobil, Amoco and Chevron-Texaco.
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $$2.30 $2.44 $2.53 $2.43
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Gorilla Bread
Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Yield: 12 to 14 servings

½ cup granulated sugar
3 teaspoons cinnamon
½ cup (1 stick) butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese
2 (12-ounce) cans refrigerated biscuits (10 count)
1 ½ cups coarsely chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Spray a bundt pan with nonstick cooking spray. Mix the granulated sugar and cinnamon. In a saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar over low heat, stirring well; set aside. Cut the cream cheese into 20 equal cubes. Press the biscuits out with your fingers and sprinkle each with ½ teaspoon of cinnamon sugar. Place a cube of cream cheese in the center of each biscuit, wrapping and sealing the dough around the cream cheese. Sprinkle ½ cup of the nuts into the bottom of the bundt pan. Place half of the prepared biscuits in the pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, pour half of the melted butter mixture over the biscuits, and sprinkle on ½ cup of nuts. Layer the remaining biscuits on top, sprinkle with the remaining cinnamon sugar, pour the remaining butter mixture over the biscuits, and sprinkle with the remaining ½ cup of nuts. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and cool for 5 minutes. Place a plate on top and invert.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_25959,00.html
~~~~~
BREAKPOINT Commentaries
by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship

The Rubber Meets the Road
Stanley Fish and Universal Absolutes

August 4, 2005

One of America’s foremost postmodern academics, Dr. Stanley Fish, dean emeritus at the University of Illinois and professor at Duke, has come up with an ingenious idea for teaching college students to write better. Here’s how he describes it in the New York Times:

“On the first day of my freshman writing class I give the students this assignment: You will be divided into groups, and by the end of the semester each group will be expected to have created its own language, complete with a syntax, a lexicon, a text, rules for translating the text and strategies for teaching your language to fellow students.”

A little drastic, maybe? Dr. Fish’s students often think so—at least at first. As he writes, “You can imagine the reaction of students who think that ‘syntax’ is something cigarette smokers pay, guess that ‘lexicon’ is the name of a rebel tribe inhabiting a galaxy far away, and haven’t the slightest idea of what words like ‘tense,’ ‘manner’ and ‘mood’ mean. They think I’m crazy. Yet 14 weeks later—and this happens every time—each group has produced a language of incredible sophistication and precision.”

The key to this unusual but effective approach is simple. Fish explains that the students have to learn that “a sentence is a structure of logical relationships.” To teach them this, he makes them concentrate on form rather than content—hence the constructing of languages. They need to understand that a language—any language, real or made up—must follow certain rules and have order, and that before they can clearly say what they want to say, they have to know and be able to use those rules.

Sounds like a good, solid approach to me. The odd thing is that Dr. Stanley Fish is the very last person I would have expected to be talking about the value of rules and structure.

Fish, you see, is one of America’s most-outspoken postmodernists. He’s well-known for arguing against the existence of what he calls “universal standards of judgment.” He believes that there is no such thing as truth, and that it could not be knowable if there were, and that abstract concepts and principles only get in the way of clear thinking. In fact, right after September 11, as I write in my new book, The Good Life, he warned people not to call terrorists “evil.” His argument was that nations must “fall back on . . . the record of aspiration and accomplishment that makes up their citizens’ understanding of what they live by and live for,” instead of the “illusory justification of universal absolutes to which every party subscribes . . . but all define differently.”

So my question to Dr. Fish would be this: If he really believes all of this, then how can he bring abstract concepts and principles into the classroom? If “universal absolutes” are “illusory,” how can they be the best way to teach his students to write proper English?

Isn’t it interesting how the practical, everyday situations we all face show us what is reality and what is really just illusion? When the rubber meets the road, even one of our leading postmodernists has to admit that there just might be something to those universal, absolute truths he spent his entire professional career denouncing. The problem with a false worldview, you see, is that you cannot live with it.

----------------------------------------------

For further reading and information:

Today’s BreakPoint offer: True Truth: Defending Absolute Truth in a Relativistic World by Art Lindsley.

StanleyFish, “Devoid of Content,” New YorkTimes, 31 May 2005. (Thanks to Wordsmith for the reprint.)

StanleyFish, “Don’t Blame Relativism,” The Responsive Community, Summer 2002. (Adobe Acrobat Reader required.)

Charles Colson and Harold Fickett, The Good Life (Tyndale, 2005).

Ben Young and Glen Lucke, Common Grounds: Conversations about Things that Matter Most (Broadman and Holman, 2003).

http://www.pfm.org/Content/NavigationMenu5/BreakPoint/LearnMore/About_BreakPoint/default.htm 2005 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
caesura: a break or pause in a line of verse; also, any break or pause.
wastrel: a person who wastes; a loafer.
circumlocution: the use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few.
Zeitgeist: the spirit of the time.
affable: easy to speak to; also, gracious.
parsimonious: frugal to excess.
beholden: obliged; indebted.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"A closed mind is like a closed book: just a block of wood." - Chinese Proverb

"But the greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of self-righteousness - each system only too delighted to find that the other is wicked - each only too glad that the sins give it the pretext for still deeper hatred and animosity." - Herbert Butterfield

"Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day." - W. Earl Hall

"Our life is what our thoughts make it." - Marcus Aurelius

"Living is a constant process of deciding what we are going to do." - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

"Illness is in part what the world has done to a victim, but in a larger part it is what the victim has done with his world." - Karl Menninger

"Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.... Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation." - Jean Arp

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

"There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails." - Richard Rybolt
~~~~~
This week, our Nation honors the 40th anniversary of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Signed into law by President Lyndon B. Johnson, this landmark civil rights legislation ended practices that denied the right of millions of minorities the right to vote.

The right to vote is a cornerstone of democracy on which America was founded. The Supreme Court echoed this sentiment, No right is more precious in a free country than that of having a voice in the election of those who make the laws, under which, as good citizens, we must live. Other rights, even the most basic, are illusory if the right to vote is undermined. Following the Civil War, African Americans continued to face hurdles at the polls, including poll taxes and literacy tests. The Voting Rights Act provided sweeping protections for African Americans by mandating criminal and civil sanctions against persons who tampered with the fundamental right to cast one's vote.

In this day and age, it's hard to imagine being denied the right to vote on the basis of the color of one's skin. At the time the legislation was enacted, only one-third of all African Americans of voting age were registered. Today, as a testament to the success of the Voting Rights Act, African American voter registration rates are nearly on par with that of the majority population. Additionally, this progressive legislation has paved the way for thousands of minorities to hold elected offices in not only local and state governments but also at the federal level in the United States Congress and the Supreme Court.

Certain provisions of the Voting Rights Act expire in 2007, such as the pre-clearance and bilingual provisions. The pre-clearance provision requires that state and local political divisions, with a known history of discrimination, submit proposed changes in voting laws in an effort to ensure the federal government's ability to prevent any laws that promote discrimination. Additionally, in 1975, the Voting Rights Act was amended to meet the demands of a growing bilingual population, and requires bilingual ballots in parts of the country where there is a significant second language influence. As your member of Congress in the United States House of Representatives, I am committed to ensuring that these provisions of the Voting Rights Act are made permanent before their expiration to ensure that all citizens have equal ability to make their voices heard.

Fortunately, we have made progress; however discrimination based on the color of one's skin still exists today. In honor of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, I urge my fellow citizens as you go about your daily lives to remain cognizant of the fact that all men and women are created equal. Our country was founded upon this very principle, and as citizens of this great nation, the very nation where democracy was born, it is important to carry on this legacy.

Sincerely,
Congressman Mike Ross - Representing Arkansas's 4th District
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GCF: Canine Complex

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem.

"Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"

"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."

"Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Sam's Fishing

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.

So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.

Sam's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Bruce's Teen-Ready House Test

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Cameron Column) - Tom (A bit long but worth the read. How to subscribe to The Cameron Column appears just below the Good Clean Fun info).
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A FREE Internet Newsletter brought to you by W. Bruce Cameron, who seems to have some confusion about what e-mail is for.

If you are not a subscriber, you've missed out on a cultural phenomenon since 1995! Please send a message to TheCameronColumn-on@letters.webvalence.com to subscribe. To unsubscribe, DON'T reply to this message. See the footer following this message for more information!

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Write to me at Bruce@wbrucecameron.com, if you would like.
-----------------------------------

Teen-Ready House Test
Copyright 2004 W. Bruce Cameron www.wbrucecameron.com

(From a pamphlet produced by our government for home buyers)

Dear Prospective Homeowner:

In the event you are considering purchase of a home that is new ("New") or existing ("Not New"), the following tests will help you determine whether the dwelling is structurally appropriate for teenagers. Please note that these steps only simulate living with a teenager; nothing can actually duplicate the experience, though spending five years running with wild dogs might come close.

The "I'm Angry And So Is My Door" test: To determine whether your interior doors can withstand the temper tantrums of teenagers, repeatedly slam a small bedroom door with a force somewhere between "Sledgehammer" and "Train Wreck." If it helps you get in the mood, feel free to shout "I hate you!" while doing so. After twenty-nine such slams (an average week's worth) check the foundation for cracks. If no fissures are evident, you aren't slamming the door hard enough.

The "I DID Clean My Room" test: Take two baskets of dirty clothes and two baskets of clean clothes and distribute them chaotically throughout a bedroom. Can you see carpet? If you can see carpet, add more clothes. When you cannot see any carpet, add more clothes. Then stand in the middle of the room and shout "I can't find anything to wear!"

The "Why Does It Matter If I Can't Hear You I'm Not Going To Listen Anyway" test: Place a CD in a stereo and turn up the volume as high as it will go. Repeat this with more stereos in each bedroom of the house. When the decibel level exceeds that of the launch of a space shuttle, open any unbroken windows and see whether your neighbors complain. If they don't, you need either (a) more stereos or (b) different neighbors. You simply cannot fully appreciate the Living-with-Teenagers Experience if your neighbors don't complain about your children.

The "But I Had To Rinse My Hair" test: Fully drain your hot-water tank, then try to take a shower because you're late to a meeting. Next, place a kitchen timer in the bathroom with a note saying "ABSOLUTELY NO SHOWERS LONGER THAN FIVE MINUTES," then ignore the note and drain the hot-water tank exactly as before and pretend you're late for another meeting. Repeat this test until you become accustomed to cold showers in the morning.

The "Doesn't Anybody Check the Pockets in This Stupid Family?" test: Place a lipstick in the pocket of a pair of pants and then do a load of laundry. If all the clothing comes out stained, It Isn't Her Fault. If the clothing does not come out stained, repeat the test until it does. For the full Teenage Experience, repeat the test every three weeks or so for five years.

The "Why Can't We Just Order a Pizza?" test: Fill the refrigerator with food, then stand in front of it with the door open and shriek "There's nothing to eat in this house!"

The "Why Can't I Stay Out Later than Midnight No One Else Has Such a Stupid Curfew!" test: This test has two stages. In stage one, scream the title of the test loudly and stomp your foot as hard as you can. If this hurts your foot, try simulating the impact by dropping a cement block from a helicopter. In stage two, drive an automobile at high speed through the neighborhood, pulling into your driveway at fifty miles an hour at one minute before midnight. Park the car with the interior dark for half an hour while the father of the house paces frantically in front of the window. Flick lights on and off several times. Repeat this process every weekend for as long as you live in the house.

The "I AM Doing My Homework" test: Turn on the television, then lie on the floor in front of it, talking on the telephone.

The "It Wasn't a Party, I Just Had Some Friends Over!" test: Leave town for a weekend. When you come back, check to see if the house is still standing.

If the structure passes all of the tests, you can live in it with teenagers. The question is, why would you want to?
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_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Changed Meaning

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
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Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"

"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I, I couldn't spell 'convenience,' so I made it 'risk.'"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Plenty Cryptic After All

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,103516,00.html
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A minor e-mail virus infestation hits the group that this network technician is responsible for, and after cleaning up the mess he decides it's time for new passwords all around, just to be safe.

Most of the group works in the same location, so he just takes a walk around the office, whispering the new password to each user.

But one woman is at a remote site. The tech can't reach her by phone, and he's leery of sending her new password in unencrypted e-mail.

Finally, he hits on an idea. He begins the e-mail message by explaining the password change.

Then he writes: "And your new password is: (the last name of our intern from that hot country) followed by the digits of (the number of points our basketball team scored in our last game)."

Very clever, he figures -- it's information only someone in the group would know.

Until he gets a reply message from the user: "I tried the password, but it didn't work. Could you set it to something not so long and hard to type? And are those parentheses important?"
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / No endangered insects \ /
\ _/ well, almost no rare insects \_ /
/ /were destroyed in composing this email.\ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If evolution really works, \ /
\ _/ how come mothers \_ /
/ / only have two hands? \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Why do they call it \ /
\ _/ a TV set \_ /
/ / when you only get one? \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I love cooking with wine. \ /
\ _/ Sometimes I even put \_ /
/ / it in the food. \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Never test the depth \ /
\ _/ of the water with both feet. \_ /
/ / \ _ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
_( (_ | *** Good Clean Fun *** | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Major Oops!

Donation Drive (Today is the last day)
Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

Tired of the inconvenience of driving from the airport to his country cottage, a man equipped his small plane with pontoons so he could land on the lake directly in front of his cottage. On his next trip however, he made his approach down the airport runway as usual.

Alarmed, his wife cried out, "Are you crazy? You can't land this plane here without wheels!" The startled husband yanked the nose up, narrowly averting certain disaster.

Continuing home, he landed the plane on the lake without mishap. As he sat there, visibly shaken, he said to his wife, "I don't know what on earth got into me. That's the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life!"

And with that, he opened the door and stepped out ... right into the water.

Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.

-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Second Try

The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who is the ugly lady over there?"

The second man said, "Why, that's my wife!"

Trying to get out of an embarrassing situation, the salesman said, "No, not her, the other one!"

The second man said, "That's my daughter!"

Received from Pastor Tim.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] The Six-Foot Cockroach

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his fourth beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his first beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights.

"What can I do?" he pleaded.

"Not much," the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."

Received from Spedtcr.
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GCFL.net] Intelligence Test

1) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?

2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken?

3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm?

4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?

5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left?

6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first?

7) A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear?

8) Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have?

9) How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark?

10) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburgh to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what's the name of the driver?

ANSWERS BELOW. GOOD LUCK!

1) All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.

2) 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o'clock, then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o'clock, they will be taken in 1 hour.

3) 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between a.m. and p.m.

4) 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.

5) 9 live sheep.

6) The match.

7) White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.

8) Two apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

9) None. It was Noah, not Moses.

10) YOU are the driver.

Grading Scale (out of 10)

10 Genius
9 Mensa Member
8 Engineer
7 University Student
6 High school pupil
5 Primary school pupil
4 School Teacher
3 University professor
2 FDA Investigator
1 Member of Congress
0 C'mon!

Received from FranCMT2.
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[GCFL.net] New School Term

The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway."

An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working; his attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.

He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.

He replied, "The sign told me, 'begins@7:30 P.M.'"

Received from Jefferson Hatchett.
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– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
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Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh

Office Culture

The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?"

"My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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Amish Law

An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his pasture. The Amish man said, "No."

"Legally, that paper says we can." replied the worker.

As he turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the Amish man went to his barn and turned his bull into the pasture.

As the bull rumbled toward the workers in the field, the Amish man hollered, "Show HIM your paper!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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From the Beginning

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.

He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband." And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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Country Refreshment

A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink.

The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.

The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

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Flower Request

"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums.. Could you use African violets instead?"

Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

*Eye Laugh*

"Noah's Marina"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw233

"Bird Dream"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=98

"TV Elephant"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=99

"Baby Dummy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=100

"Happy Place"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=101

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Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/art_museum_visit_humor.html - - How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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"Dark chocolate can not only soothe your soul but can lower blood pressure too, researchers reported July 18, 2005. The study, published by the American Heart Association, joins a growing body of research that show compounds found in chocolate called flavonoids can help the blood vessels work more smoothly, perhaps reducing the risk of heart disease. 'Previous studies suggest flavonoid-rich foods, including fruits, vegetables, tea, red wine and chocolate, might offer cardiovascular benefits, but this is one of the first clinical trials to look specifically at dark chocolate's effect on lowering blood pressure among people with hypertension,' said Jeffrey Blumberg of Tufts University in Boston, who led the study."
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Infoplease Biography - - http://www.infoplease.com/people.html - - Biographical profiles and special features about newsworthy people around the world. Searchable by subject or category.
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DictSearch - - http://www.foreignword.com/Tools/dictsrch.htm - - Use this global dictionary to search in 275 dictionaries on the Internet. Translate from 69 source languages into 73 target languages - 400 language combinations.
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National Sex Offender Public Registry - - http://www.nsopr.gov/ - - This Web site is provided as a public service by the U.S. Department of Justice. Using this Web site, interested members of the public have access to and may search participating state Web site public information regarding the presence or location of offenders, who, in most cases, have been convicted of sexually-violent offenses against adults and children and certain sexual contact and other crimes against victims who are minors. The public can use this Web site to educate themselves about the possible presence of such offenders in their local communities.
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Project Gutenberg - - http://www.gutenberg.org/ - - Project Gutenberg is the oldest producer of free electronic books (eBooks or etexts) on the Internet. Our collection of more than 16,000 eBooks was produced by hundreds of volunteers. Most of the Project Gutenberg eBooks are older literary works that are in the public domain in the United States. All may be freely downloaded and read, and redistributed for non-commercial use.
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WhiteHouseTapes.org - - http://www.whitehousetapes.org/ - - Between 1940 and 1973, six American presidents from both political parties secretly recorded just under 5,000 hours of conversations. This site is designed as a service to the research community by making freely available all of the presidential recordings, along with relevant research materials, so that scholars, teachers, students, and the public can hear and use these remarkable tapes for themselves.
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Smartest States: 2004-2005 - - http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0931043.html - - The Smartest State designation is awarded on the basis of 21 factors selected from Morgan Quitno's annual reference book, Education State Rankings, 2004-2005. Rates for each of the 21 factors were processed through a formula that measures how a state compares to the national average for a given category. The end result is that the farther below the national average a state's education ranking is, the lower (and less smart) it ranks. The farther above the national average, the higher (and smarter) a state ranks. >>.
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Broadway: The American Musical - - http://www.pbs.org/wnet/broadway/ - - This is the companion site for a program broadcast on PBS. This special is a new six-part documentary series that chronicles the Broadway musical throughout the 20th century and explores the evolution of this uniquely American art form. The series, created by filmmaker Michael Kantor, draws on a wealth of archival news footage, lost and found television moments, original cast recordings, still photos, feature films, diaries, journals, intimate first-person accounts, and on-camera interviews with many of the principals involved in creating the American musical.
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Digital History - - http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/ - - This University of Houston site provides a U.S. history textbook, essays, documents, maps, photos, audio files, and more for teachers and students of American history in schools and colleges.
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Freedom: A History of US - - http://www.pbs.org/wnet/historyofus/ - - Based on Joy Hakim's award-winning history books for kids, this PBS site explores America's promise of freedom, which has attracted everyone from the original colonists-turned-rebels to 19th- and 20th-century immigrants. It also addresses the many 'unfreedoms' in this country, particularly the fatal contradiction of slavery.
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"A new survey says that the Internet has all but saturated the youth market. The report compiled for the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that nearly nine out of 10 young people, ages 12 through 17, have online access - up from about three-quarters of young people in 2000. By comparison, about 66 percent of American adults now use the Internet. David Pulliam, a 17-year-old high school senior from Indianapolis, is a typical example of a wired teen. He first got access to the Internet when he was 13, as did most of those who were surveyed. He has a blog and loves to use instant messaging to stay in touch with friends he's met at camps and sporting events. He also gets his news online, as do about three-quarters of teen Internet users who were surveyed. That's an increase of about 38 percent, compared with 2000 results. 'It's hard to imagine my life without it,' Pulliam says of the Net. 'In some ways, life would become a little easier because it would slow down. But it would become a lot more boring and hard because you would always be waiting for letters and responses.' "
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"Obesity is increasing rapidly in developing countries greatly increasing the risk of heart disease and diabetes, an international population conference was told. 'Even in countries such as India, which is typically known for high prevalence of under nutrition, a significant proportion of overweight and obese people now coexist with those who are undernourished,' said Praween Agrawal of the International Institute of Population Sciences. 'This epidemic has emerged almost unnoticed in our society,' said Agrawal, who released the results of a new study of women in India which confirmed the trend. 'In the past, governments in many developing countries with high levels of under nutrition and a high prevalence of communicable diseases have paid little attention to the problems of overweight and obesity.' " -
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"Exercise can't hold off the effects of aging, but it can improve an elderly person's chances of hanging onto an independent lifestyle, researchers said, citing a new study that brought both good and bad news. A treadmill test given to different age groups showed that as people aged, their aerobic capacity - the amount of oxygen consumed while exercising - declined at higher rates with each passing decade whether they exercised or not. The researchers knew the rate of decline would worsen with age, but they were surprised by the magnitude, said Dr. Jerome L. Fleg, a cardiologist who is lead author of the study and a medical officer at the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute in Maryland." -
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"Lightning has killed at least 14 people and injured more than 100 in the United States since early June, according to a statement issued by NOAA, parent organization of the National Weather Service. The statistics were based on reports from local Weather Service offices and news accounts. An average of 67 people are killed by lightning each year in the United States. July is typically the worst month. Last weekend, lightning killed a worker at a mobile home park in Grayson, Ky., and a father and his step-son at the beach in Gulf Shores, Ala. Another 16 people were injured by lightning in Florida, North Carolina and Wisconsin. Many of the deaths are avoidable, officials say. 'Too often, people wait too long before seeking safe shelter from a thunderstorm and find themselves caught outside in a very dangerous and sometimes deadly situation,' said John Jensenius, a lightning safety expert with the NOAA National Weather Service." -
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"Happy, sad, angry, scared: Some of us are good at hiding these everyday emotions, while others are unable to disguise them. Whether subtle or intense, facial expressions are the key to how we identify human emotion. Most studies of how we recognize facial expressions have used static models of intense expressions. But new research indicates that facial motion - seeing the range of movement in the arching of an eyebrow or the curve of a smile - is in fact an extremely important part of what makes subtle facial expressions identifiable. A recent study by Zara Ambadar and Jeffrey F. Cohn of the University of Pittsburgh and Jonathan W. Schooler of the University of British Columbia, examined how motion affects people's judgment of subtle facial expressions. Their report, 'Deciphering the Enigmatic Face: The Importance of Facial Dynamics in Interpreting Subtle Facial Expressions,' is in the May 2005 issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the American Psychological Society." -
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"Three out of four Americans aged 80 or older have high blood pressure but most do not get adequate treatment, exposing them to a risk of heart attack or stroke, researchers said on July 26, 2005. 'Many more men and women are now living healthy and active lives into their 80s and 90s. As clinicians, we should not loosen our management of high blood pressure just because a patient has had the good fortune to reach an older age,' said Dr. Daniel Levy, co-author of a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. 'For these patients, managing high blood pressure may make the difference between living many more healthy years, or spending those years recovering from a debilitating stroke or heart attack,' said Levy, who is the director of the Framingham Heart Study in Framingham, Massachusetts. The researchers tracked participants from the earliest phase of the study that began in 1948 and their offspring who enrolled two decades later."
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|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
UV Index: How to use it!The UV Index is a forecast of the probable intensity of skin damaging ultraviolet radiation reaching the surface during the solar noon hour (11:30-12:30 local standard time or 12:30-13:30 local daylight time). The greater the UV Index is the greater the amount of skin damaging UV radiation. How much UV radiation is needed to actually damage one's skin is dependant on several factors. But in general the darker one's skin is, (that is the more melanin one has in his/her skin) the longer (or the more UV radiation) it takes to cause erythema (skin reddening). For those who always burn and never tan the times to burn are relatively short compared to those who almost always tan.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
August 4, 2005

Most cellphone providers now provide emergency roadside assistance. It costs me $2.99/month (Cingular) and the service follows your phone (anywhere you have cellphone service), not a specific vehicle. This means you can be in your own car, your spouse's car or a friends' car. As long as you have your phone, the service is provided under the monthly fee. I had a flat tire one afternoon on the way home from work. I pulled over in the parking lot of Lone Star on Acadian. In under 30 minutes, a service-provider (in this case it was Pop-a-lock) located me, changed my tire and I was on my way. This is a small sum of money to pay for peace of mind when traveling, either close to home, or long-distance. It's also great for your children as they start driving and/or are away from home..

Debbie Bonner
Business Support Manager, International
Albemarle Corporation
(225)388-7109
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
Add this number to your cell phone:

Most of you have probably seen the Motorist Assistance Patrol, or MAP, van on the Interstate in Baton Rouge. But, have you ever written down their number - or programmed it into your cell phone - so that you would know how to contact them if you needed assistance. A co-worker of mine needed their assistance the other day and had to wait for them to find him because he did not have their number handy.
Charles Wilhelm

MOTORIST ASSISTANCE PATROL (MAP) 379-1232

This is a FREE service sponsored by DOTD to aid stranded interstate motorists. If you experience a breakdown in the patrol area, the Motor Assistance Patrol (MAP) will move your vehicle from the travel lanes. They will provide the following free services

One gallon of fuel, change a flat tire, jump start your car, fill radiator with water, providing a cell phone so you can make a phone call if other assistance is needed.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
August 2, 2005
More on Identity Theft

I wanted to respond to the recent posting on "Safety from the Heart" about identity theft and make a few comments... comments from a Baton Rouge Tower Employee.

1. The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of first name) and last name put on them. If someone takes your checkbook, they will not know if you sign your checks with just your initials or your first name, but your bank will know how you sign your checks.

This is a false sense of security. The thief doesn't have to know your signature... they can sign anything on the signature line. There's no way for a merchant to know the name, or signature, on the account... they don't have access to your signature card. It doesn't even have to be your name. The only thing that matters is a valid account number that has money in it. The bank will only look at the signature if you report that a fraud had occurred, and this is long after the thief has committed the crime. Transactions are done electronically, and no one normally actually looks at them.

All a criminal needs to use the money in your checking account is a valid account number and the bank's routing number. If you've ever written a check to anyone, they have all they need. I know, because in June, someone printed up forged checks in another state, using my account number and my bank's routing number, and then proceeded to write 25 checks in Houston over a one week period of time, totally about $3,000. They used a fictitious Houston name and address on the checks, had a phony Texas driver's license, and fictitious telephone number.

Of course, the bank will reverse all the transactions once you discover it, but it's a pain having to fill out 25 notarized fraud affidavits, file a police report, close out your checking account, open a new one, notify all those who automatically debit your checking account, call the credit bureau and put a fraud alert on your credit report, send a fraud report to TeleCheck, etc.

2. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED."

Another false sense of security. How many merchants do you know who actually look at the signature line on your card? Very few, I bet. Plus, in many places, you swipe your own card, and the merchant never puts his hands on it. Then, there are the on-line merchants who can't look at your card.

3. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the check processing channels won't have access to it..

I'll agree with this one...

4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.

.... as well as this one.

Also, when you have your driver's license renewed, you have the option to not have your social security number on it.

Putting a fraud alert on your credit report only requires a single call to the local Credit Bureau, not three separate calls, as the original posting suggested. It's fast, it's easy, it's automatic, and all three of Equifax, Experian, and Trans Union are notified. What this means is that if there are any credit applications, they must call you, first. The alert lasts for 90 days. You will also automatically be sent a credit report (but not a credit rating, unless you pay for it).

The previous posting didn't mention TeleCheck. This is the company that handles ACH transactions when a merchant simply scans in your check and gives it back to you, resulting in an electronic ACH transaction on your account. Since TeleCheck warrants these transactions, you must file a fraud report with TeleCheck to clear your record and prevent their collections department from calling you once you reverse those ACH transactions, which they are now stuck with. Information on how to do this is at . Click on "Consumer", and then the link for "Check Fraud/Forgery".

Look at your credit card statements and bank statements as soon as they come in. If you have online access to your bank and/or credit card accounts, routinely watch for transactions you didn't make. ACH transactions appear quickly after a transaction, while checks may take a few days to show up, or longer, if the merchant doesn't immediately deposit them.

Notice that nothing I described is identity theft. Thieves can use your account without even knowing your identity. By the time the fraud is detected, they are long gone to another locale, using another account, and making more purchases. The merchants are the ones who immediately lose, in this case, but this consequently results in higher prices. Does this give you a safe, warm, fuzzy feeling? I didn't think so.
|------------ Safety From The Heart ----------|
August 1, 2005
In case of Emergency
Prepared by Ron Zumstein, VP, HS&E

SFTH Message - More on ICE

About a year ago, my father, who lives alone, became seriously ill one night. Luckily, he called 911 before he collapsed and EMS responded immediately. They transported him to the hospital where he spend the next two weeks recovering from double pneumonia.

Since he was unconscious when he was admitted to the hospital and he lived alone, the hospital only knew his name and address. They needed to contact relatives. Fortunately, when EMS took him to the hospital, they also brought with him his cell phone. The hospital used the cell phone to track down relatives. By checking the memory of the cell phone, they were able to quickly notify me and I was able to provide some important medical history.

My wife recently ran across the following idea that uses what was learned in this incident with my father:

East Anglian Ambulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign with the support of Falklands war hero Simon Weston. The idea is that you store the word " I C E " in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency"(ICE).

In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them. It's so simple that everyone can do it. Please do. For more than one contact name, you can use ICE1, ICE2, ICE3, etc.

With almost everyone carrying a cell phone these days, this seems like a practical idea for the whole family. This idea is a more modern approach to the past practice of keeping a list of contact information in your wallet. Unfortunately, in today's world with maddening terrorist attacks, it is important to be prepared for the unexpected. So, especially if you travel, the use of ICE could help save your life or put a loved one's mind at rest. Add your ICE list to your cell phone memory today.

Thanks, Ron
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
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Volume 11, Number 04 -- 02 August 2005
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: Zombies / Buying a Computer

Has your computer been turned into a zombie? Find out what that means, and what to do about it, in this issue of TOURBUS. We also have some practical advice on how to buy a new computer, so read on!

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Must... Eat... Braaains!!!
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In a recent AskBobRankin article I wrote: "If you use the Internet, you simply MUST stay up to date with the system patches that come out in response to the privacy and security exploits that are discovered every week. Failure to do so is an open invitation to hackers and crackers to invade your privacy and enslave your computer in a spam spewing network."

http://www.askbobrankin.com/making_windows_xp_start_faster.html

RELATED NEWS: http://www.tourbus.com/hacker-news.html

The term "zombie" refers to a computer that has been compromised by a virus or other malware, so that it will perform tasks like sending spam or participating in denial of service attacks under the direction of an Evil Hacker.

Viruses, trojan horses and spyware are so prevalent now that affected zombie computers (ordinary PCs in homes and businesses) are thought to account for the delivery of up to 80% of all spam worldwide. Hackers can also create networks of zombie computers and wreak havoc with coordinated denial of service attacks that cripple targeted websites for hours or days with a flood of data.

A virus or trojan running on your PC has access to the same commands and files as you, so it can do anything you can, including installing other software, sending emails, deleting files, or snooping around for passwords and personal information.

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How to De-Zombify Your PC
---------------------------

In most cases, the owners of zombie computers are not aware that their systems have been compromised. If your computer seems to be running a lot slower than usual, or you cannot access anti-virus websites, you should run a thorough virus and spyware scan immediately.

My articles "How can I avoid computer viruses?" and "Spy, Counter-Spy" will help to demystify the process of finding, installing and running anti-virus and anti-spyware software.

http://www.askbobrankin.com/how_can_i_avoid_computer_viruses.html

http://www.askbobrankin.com/spy_counter-spy.html

RELATED NEWS: http://www.tourbus.com/spyware-news.html

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Buying a New Computer
-----------------------

A few days ago a reader asked me this question:

I teach senior citizens in a community-based free computer lab. They often ask what to look for when buying a computer, and many are on a limited budget. What would you suggest?

The good news is that computer prices have dropped a lot over the past few years, and the computing power you get for your money is going up! I don't recommend used computers for anyone, because the rate of change of computer technology will render most systems nearly obsolete within a couple years.

If you're a computer novice, wondering what kind of computer, monitor, hard drive, memory, and operating system you should get, read my "How to Buy a Computer" article on AskBobRankin for some helpful pointers.

http://www.askbobrankin.com/how_to_buy_a_computer.html

RELATED LINK: http://www.tourbus.com/best_computer_buying.html
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That's it for today. Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
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Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html
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========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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HISTORY TEST

Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test. The events are actual cuts from past history. They actually happened!!!

Do you remember?

In 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by
a. Superman
b. Jay Lenno
c Harry Potter
d. Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, .....I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone because of profiling.

The Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, should feel doubly ashamed of themselves - if they have any such sense. As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Come on people wake up!!! Our Country and our troops need our support.

Thanks to David Lamb
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The Bible in 50 Words!

God made

Adam bit

Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled

Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided

Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked

Prophets warned
Jesus born

God Walked
Love talked

Anger crucified
Hope died

Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained.

Thanks to David Lamb
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Christians

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering, "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner

Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Thanks to Sam A. Boggs
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Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life. Gen 3:17 (NASB)

I was about ready to leave Adam and move on to Noah, but I had to pause and reflect on Adam a bit longer. One question rings continually through my mind. Why did Adam eat from the tree?

Adam’s excuse was that his wife gave it to him, so he ate. How lame! That’s like saying to a judge, “My wife told me to rob the bank, so I did.” That won’t sit well with a judge, and it didn’t sit well with the Father. Honestly, I have heard better excuses from my daughters. I don’t believe Adam is telling the truth. So why DID Adam eat the fruit?

Eve said the serpent beguiled her, so she ate. That is just as lame as Adam’s excuse. The devil CAN’T make us do something against our will. God won’t allow it. However, from Job’s experience we can gather that God will allow satan to try to tempt us to do evil. And that, my friends, is a far cry from “making” us do it. Eve was lying. She was tempted and gave in … but why?

Satan didn’t give an excuse. God knew why he was doing this evil deed. God allowed it to happen. The serpent, satan’s tool, received the curse that haunts serpents to this day. It seems that there is no answer to the question, “Why” in satan’s response, so the question still stands, “Why did Adam eat the forbidden fruit?” If we can come up with an answer, I think we will be better able to understand our own sinfulness.

Let’s see …. What are the elements of this event? Adam: he was the first man and perfect in all of his being. He was lonely so God gave him Eve. She was perfect in all of her being. There was a garden … without weeds! Without biting insects! Without need to till and toil. There were fruits aplenty, enough that there was no lack of variety. There was such variety that Adam and Eve never sampled everything. “Proof?” you ask. Simple. God drove them out of the garden lest they should eat of the Tree of Life and live forever! If they hadn’t eaten from that tree, it is likely that there were others. This sounds like paradise! What is not to like about this arrangement? Everything was perfect.

Oh, there is one more thing that we have not mentioned. There was one law … only one. “Don’t eat from the tree in the center of the garden.” Sounds simple enough. Stay out of the middle of the garden, eat from the periphery trees, don’t allow yourself to be tempted. Easier said than done. Ever placed a piece of your favorite chocolate in the middle of the table and told yourself you wouldn’t eat it until just before bed? What did you look at every time you passed the kitchen table? What consumed your thoughts while you journeyed through your day? What did you eat long before bedtime? Those, my friends are rhetorical questions. The answers are obvious. One law? The center of the garden drew our fortunate pair like iron filings to a magnet, like bugs to a light, like kids to a video playing on the TV.

WHY DID THEY EAT THE FRUIT?!!!

There is an old proverb that says, “There is no fruit sweeter than stolen fruit.” What did you feel the last time you purposely did something wrong? I can only answer for myself. My heart begins to race. My whole being pulses with the added adrenalin. I quake with anticipation. When I eat the forbidden, the taste is indeed sweeter than anything I have ever eaten before … but the after taste is horrible! Why did they do it? Simple. They did it because of the rush of doing something wrong. They had never experienced such a thing before. There was nothing to scare them in the garden … except the temptation. Satan found this one weakness and exploited it. Adam and Eve did it because it was wrong, and the rush was a new experience! In short, they sinned for the same reason we sin. It’s not that they didn’t enjoy God’s presence in the cool of the evening. They did. It’s not that they were bored. There was much to see and do. They sinned for the rush … and paid the price of admission … just like we do.


Harley
-=+=-
They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Gen 3:8 (NAS)

God is a God of relationships. John tells us that God was into relationships when He was introduced as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit at the time of creation (John 1:1, 2). We see the relationship characteristic in the second chapter of Genesis when God said, “let us make man in our image.” We can even see it in the act of creation. During the first five days of creation, God spoke things into existence. On the sixth day, when He created Adam, He formed Adam from the dust of the earth. The picture is that of a man bending over a lump of clay … personal involvement. Then, He did a second unusual thing. He bent over that form He created and breathed into it … God’ breath from His mouth into the mouth of Adam … and Adam came to life. God never spoke man into existence; He formed man and breathed into him. “Why?” you may ask. He did it because He wanted a personal relationship with man.

Even when man suffered loneliness, God took a personal interest. He put Adam to sleep, removed a rib, took that rib aside, and formed a perfect mate for Adam. He could have spoke Eve into existence, but He didn’t. He formed her as He formed Adam. God wanted a being He could share with, talk with, walk with. And that seems to be what He did with Adam.

Adam didn’t seem shocked that God was walking in the Garden in the cool of the day. Adam actually seemed to expect that God would be there. What shocked Adam was his condition … nakedness and separation. Nakedness had never bothered Adam before. He and Eve were used to it. Adam even communed with God totally naked and was never embarrassed. It was the fact that Adam had sinned that caused the nakedness to be a condition of shame. The embarrassment of nakedness was a symbol, a sign of the inward condition. Adam broke the relationship between himself and his God. God still desired the relationship … He went to great lengths to restore that relationship. It was man that broke it, and rejected the restoration, and that brokenness is reflected in man’s difficulty with relationships to this day.

So what do we learn from today’s discussion? We learn that God is in the relationship business. He desires to walk with us, to talk with us, to share with us the intimate things He has for us. We also learned that we have a problem with this because we are sinners … we have broken off the relationship. We, though we desire it with all of or hearts, find it difficult to walk with God, talk with Him, and share our intimate thoughts.

Adam serves a purpose in history. His story helps us understand why we have a problem relating with God. He is perfect. We are flawed. He walks among us. We hide behind modern day fig leaves of outward success, over confidence, opulence, or fear, embarrassment, or inferiority. We may wear the trappings of success … or cringe in our failures, but we still hide from God. At least we now have a basic understanding of why. We will learn more about ourselves … and about God in the coming days. Perhaps God will be gracious to us and show us the way of restoration … restoration of the relationship we long for and fear at the same time.

Harley
-=+=-
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Gen 1:1 NAS

I asked myself a question the other day … and the question scared me, and I didn’t even get to the answer! Bear in mind, I have been a Christian since I was ten. I have been through four years of Bible College and a year and a half of seminary. I have been an ordained minister since 1969, and a seeker after truth for most of my lifetime. So what question cold I ask myself that was so earth shattering?

“Do I really know God?” I asked myself. Not “do I really know about God. Not “do I trust in God?” Not “do I understand who God is?” I asked “Do I really know God?” Any of the other questions would bring an immediate “affirmative” for an answer. I know a lot about God. I trust God to lead me day-by-day. I even understand who God is. Those are basic “no brainers”. I had to come to the conclusion that I really, truly have a questionable relationship with God.

Don’t misinterpret that statement to mean something that I don’t intend it to mean. I have a saving relationship with my Father. I am sure that should I die tonight that I would be immediately in His presence. I do have that kind of relationship. The one I am questioning is the type of relationship in which my Father and I can sit for hours and simply enjoy each other’s presence … or talk for hours about whatever is on our minds … or have those intimate conversations that only those who truly know each other on a deep level can have. That is the relationship that I don’t have with my Father.

Perhaps one thing that brought this question to mind is my relationship with my birth father. I have known my dad since I was born. He has never been an absentee father. He has always been there for me. He has disciplined me, taught me, trained me, and encouraged me. But I have never been able to sit down and talk with him about the things that are on my heart. Now, Dad is suffering from late stages of Alzheimer’s and carrying on a conversation is especially difficult. It is this that has shaken my thoughts and my understanding of my relationships with Dad, and with my spiritual Father. I see the relationship with the earthly one reflected in my relationship with my heavenly One! Sadly, I am not happy with either.

Perhaps you are now wondering about my sanity … and my spirituality … and my ability to lead anyone into a relationship with God. More likely, I have just shaken your world as mine has been shaken for days. If this is true, then perhaps we can walk hand in hand as we seek to build a relationship with our Father God over the next undefined period of time.

For me, the search begins with a renewed understanding of who God is … and that starts with Genesis 1:1. “In the beginning God …” That’s where we find Him. He was there before time began. (He did create earth and the heavens and the sun and the moon … all elements that define “time” for us humans.) I know it is hard to comprehend something happening before “time”, not “pre-historic”, but “pre-time”. Pre-historic simply means a time before man began to record events. According to science, pre-historic is a time-span counting into the billions of years. According to God and His Word, that covers a time-span of several thousands of years. If we are to have a personal relationship with God the Father, then we must accept that He knows more than science and all the scientists ever to study earth. We must acknowledge that He was there when time began … and indeed created time. We can’t do that with any powers of observation; that is what blows the scientists into a quagmire. We can only do that through “faith” … and faith is simply believing that it is true because God said it is true.

So, we have begun a journey that hopefully will transform our relationship with the Father from a head knowledge to a heart relationship, one that is fulfilling to both us and the Father.

Harley
-=+=-
c. 2005 Harley E. Hudson

If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@earthlink.net and request a free subscription.
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TGIF-Today God Is First


Two by Two
---------------------------------------------------
Friday, August 05, 2005
by Os Hillman

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9

Have you discovered yet that you are incomplete by yourself? During my "warrior" stage of life you would have been hard-pressed to convince me that I needed you or anyone else. I know few people willing to admit their need for others, but many who live according to this principle. However, sooner or later we discover God's truth regarding our need for others.

God made us to need others. We may not discover this until we fail - fail in a business, a marriage, a close friendship, or in a client relationship. We are incomplete without the ongoing input from others into our lives. An independent spirit is one of the most detestable sins from God's viewpoint. It is the highest form of pride. "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice" (Prov. 13:10).

God has made each of us so that we have only so many gifts. He did not give any of us all the available gifts. Hence, we learn to depend on others and to humbly trust others to complete us where we are deficient.

David had Jonathan. Paul had Silas. John Wesley had George Whitefield. Martin Luther had Philip Melanchthon, who was 14 years younger. Martin Luther learned that he needed someone in his life to complete the work God called him to do. Luther had the greatest respect for this friend who helped him reform the Church of their day, and the Church as we know it at present. Luther learned a great deal from Melanchthon, who was a great scholar at a young age. He could speak several languages, and he became Professor of Greek at the new University of Wittenberg at 21 years of age. This was ten months after Luther posted his famous theses on the church door in Wittenberg. Melanchthon helped shape the Protestant movement of the sixteenth century through his research, writings, moral purpose, and religious conscience. Luther and Melanchthon became inseparable, and when they died, they were buried next to each other.

Who has God placed in your life to complete you? Perhaps it is a mate. Perhaps it is a close friend. Perhaps it is a business partner. If you lack this in your life, I encourage you to seek someone out who can speak into your life. If you have someone like this, tell him or her how much you appreciate the role he or she plays in your life.

-=+=-

Blessing God's Chosen
-------------------------------------
Thursday, August 04, 2005
by Os Hillman

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace. ~ Numbers 6:24-26

Recently, a friend from London sent this personal account of an experience he had:

"I was walking passed the Stock Exchange in the City of London when I overtook an Orthodox Jew with his black hat and long gray beard. As one does, I put my arm on his shoulder and gave him the blessing which God gave to Moses to give to Aaron with which he was to bless the Jews.

" 'The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.'

"The Jewish gentleman turned round with a smile. 'God said to Abraham, "Those who bless the Jews will be themselves blessed." You will be blessed!'

" 'I know,' I said. 'Ten years ago, I blessed a Jew at Kennedy Airport and I was upgraded to Club class and this happened again on my next two transatlantic flights. Every time I blessed a Jew I was upgraded!'

" 'You're the man, you're the man!' cried my friend. 'I read that article in the Jewish Chronicle and was just going to tell you the story.'

"We ended up embracing each other on the pavement, no doubt to the astonishment of passing stockbrokers and bankers!"

Is there an opportunity to bless a Jew today? You might find yourself blessed if you do.

-=+=-

Angels in the Workplace
------------------------------------------
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
by Os Hillman

For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. ~ Psalm 91:11-12

For years Sergis ran his small retail business from his store in a local shopping center. Every week a visitor would drop by to collect a percentage of his sales. The visitor wasn't his landlord; the mafia had taken control of business in his small country.

Through the ministry of a workplace Christian, Sergis came to faith in Christ, and God began a deep work in his life. One day Sergis decided he could no longer give God's money to the mafia.

A few days later his "friends" paid him a visit. They kidnapped him, blindfolded him, and placed him in a jail cell located in the middle of a mafia-controlled house. During the night Sergis sat in the jail cell discouraged. Two locked doors with guards separated Sergis from his freedom. Suddenly, in the middle of the night Sergis awoke to a voice: "Sergis, get up. Follow me." Sergis awakened to a real, in the flesh, angel of God sent to deliver him. The angel opened the doors while the guards remained asleep. Sergis and the angel walked quietly past the guards to freedom. Sergis immediately went to his Christian brothers to share the miracle that had just taken place.

This true story is living proof that we serve a God who still does miracles on behalf of His servants. Ask God for the miracle you need today.

-=+=-

The Door of Full Surrender
----------------------------------------------
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
by Os Hillman

But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. ~ Job 23:10

I was recently sitting with the leader of a workplace organization as he described a question he poses to workplace believers. "What if there were two doors to choose from; behind one door was the complete will of God for your life and behind the other door was how life could be according to your own preference.

Which door would you choose?" The struggle for most lies in the desire to follow God completely and the fear of what might be behind the door of full surrender. Most of us desire to follow God, but few of us will do it at any cost. We do not really believe that God loves us to the degree that we are willing to give Him complete permission to do as He wills in us.

If we desire to fully walk with Christ, there is a cost. We may give intellectual assent and go along with His principles and do fine; however, if we are fully given over to Him and His will for our life, it will be a life that will have adversity. The Bible is clear that humans do not achieve greatness without having their sinful will broken. This process is designed to create a nature change in each of us, not just a habit change. The Bible calls it circumcision. Circumcision is painful, bloody, and personal.

If God has plans to greatly use you in the lives of others, you can expect your trials to be even greater than those of others. Why? Because, like Joseph who went through greater trials than most patriarchs, your calling may have such responsibility that God cannot afford to entrust it to you without ensuring your complete faithfulness to the call. He has much invested in you on behalf of others. He may want to speak through your life to a greater degree than through another. The events of your life would become the frame for the message He wants to speak through you.

Do not fear the path that God may lead you on. Embrace it. For God may bring you down a path in your life to ensure the reward of your inheritance. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:17)


-=+=-

Being a Vessel to Bless Others
--------------------------------------------
Monday, August 01, 2005
by Os Hillman

One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. ~ Proverbs 11:24-25

One of the reasons God entrusts money to us is to bless other Christians by meeting their needs. God uses the transfer of money within the Body of Christ to build unity among Christians. Sometimes we withhold money that God has designated for someone else. He wants to bless through us, but His will cannot be accomplished through us if we are disobedient.

This was the case for a business owner who tells of the time when God told him to forego a company bonus one year. God directed him to share his year-end bonus with an employee to show his appreciation for him. He wrestled with God for three full days before obeying the Lord on the matter. When he finally met with the employee to give him his check, the man said he had been praying about a financial need he had three days earlier. He had decided to borrow the money to meet his need. The amount of money he borrowed was the exact amount the business owner gave him.

God had already planned to provide for the employee through the business owner, but because he was hesitant, he almost missed the opportunity to be an instrument of God in this man's life. Even so, he could have prevented the man from having to borrow money. It was an important lesson for the business owner.

How many people do we let down because we feel the "harvest" God provides is all ours? In America, the pressure is always on to move up the ladder of material accumulation. Jesus warned us about this. If our focus is on accumulation, we will not look for opportunities to be God's vessels of financial blessing to others. Ask the Lord if you have an open hand when it comes to finances.

-=+=-

Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
---------------------------------------------------
To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2005
--------------------------------------------------
Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Os Hillman Copyright 2005
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Steak & Bingo (Sep 10 06:00 PM CDT in Jr. High cafeteria)
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Sgt. James D. Carroll, 23, of McKenzie, Tenn., died July 31 near Baghdad, Iraq, where an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Carroll was assigned to the Army National Guard's 230th Engineer Battalion, McKenzie, Tenn.

02. Pfc. Jason D. Scheuerman, 20, of Lynchburg, Va., died July 30 in Muqdadiyah, Iraq, of non-combat related injuries. Scheuerman was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga.

03. Spc. Robert A. Swaney, 21, of West Jefferson, Ohio, died July 30 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his patrol HMMWV. Swaney was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Carson, Colo.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on July 24, 2005, in Baghdad, Iraq, where an improvised explosive device detonated near their Bradley Fighting Vehicle. The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
04. Staff Sgt. Jason W. Montefering, 27, of Parkston, S.D.
05. Spc. Ernest W. Dallas Jr., 21, of Denton, Texas.
06. Sgt. Milton M. Monzon Jr., 21, of Los Angeles, Calif.
07. Pfc. Ramon A. Villatoro Jr., 19, of Bakersfield, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
08. Spc. Adrian J. Butler, 28, of East Lansing, Mich., and
09. Spc. John O. Tollefson, 22, of Fond du Lac, Wis.,
died July 27 in Ashraf, Iraq, where an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during a patrol. Both Butler and Tollefson were assigned to the 411th Military Police Company, 720th Military Police Battalion, 89th Military Police Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.

The Department of Defense announced the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
10. Sgt. James R. Graham III, 25, of Coweta, Okla., died August 1 as result of a suicide, vehicle-born, improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations near Hit, Iraq. Graham was assigned to Marine Reserve’s 4th Tank Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Broken Arrow, Okla. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, Graham’s unit was attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

The Department of Defense announced the death of six Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
11. Cpl. Jeffrey A. Boskovitch, 25, of Seven Hills, Ohio
12. Lance Cpl. Roger D. Castleberry Jr., 26, of Austin, Texas
13. Sgt. David J. Coullard, 32, of Glastonbury, Conn.
14. Lance Cpl. Daniel N. Deyarmin Jr., 22, of Tallmadge, Ohio
15. Lance Cpl. Brian P. Montgomery, 26, of Willoughby, Ohio
16. Sgt. Nathaniel S. Rock, 26, of Toronto, Ohio
All died Aug. 1 as result of enemy small-arms fire while conducting dismounted operations outside Haditha, Iraq. Castleberry was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, San Antonio, Texas. The other five Marines were assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Brookpark, Ohio. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, all were attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

17. Staff Sgt. James D. McNaughton, 27, of Middle Village, N.Y., died August 2 in Baghdad, Iraq, where he was struck by sniper fire while he was in a guard tower. McNaughton was assigned to the Army Reserve's 306th Military Police Battalion, 800th Military Police Brigade, Uniondale, N.Y.

18. Petty Officer 1st Class Thomas C. Hull, 41, of Princeton, Ill., died Aug. 2 on board the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz in the Arabian Gulf after being medically evacuated to the carrier for a non-combat related incident. Hull was an operations specialist assigned to the USS Princeton, homeported in San Diego, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of six Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
19. Lance Cpl. Michael J. Cifuentes, 25, of Fairfield, Ohio
20. Lance Cpl. Grant B. Fraser, 22, of Anchorage, Alaska
21. Lance Cpl. Aaron H. Reed, 21, of Chillicothe, Ohio
22. Lance Cpl. Edward A. Schroeder II, 23, of Columbus, Ohio
23. Lance Cpl. Kevin G. Waruinge, 22, of Tampa, Fla.
24. Lance Cpl. William B. Wightman, 22, of Sabina, Ohio
All died Aug. 3 when their Amphibious Assault Vehicle was hit by an improvised explosive device during combat operations south of Haditha, Iraq. Fraser was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Elmendorf Air Force Base, Alaska. Waruinge was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Assault Amphibian Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Gulfport, Miss. The other four Marines were assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Columbus, Ohio. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, they all were attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

The Department of Defense announced the death of seven Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
25. Lance Cpl. Timothy M. Bell Jr., 22, of West Chesterfield, Ohio
26. Lance Cpl. Eric J. Bernholtz, 23, of Grove City, Ohio
27. Lance Cpl. Nicholas William B. Bloem, 20, of Belgrade, Mont.
28. Sgt. Bradley J. Harper, 25, of Dresden, Ohio
29. Sgt. Justin F. Hoffman, 27, of Delaware, Ohio
30. Cpl. David Kenneth J. Kreuter, 26, of Cincinnati, Ohio
31. Cpl. David S. Stewart, 24, of Bogalusa, La.
All died August 3 when their Amphibious Assault Vehicle was attacked by an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations south of Haditha, Iraq. Bloem was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Reconnaissance Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Billings, Mont. Harper was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Assault Amphibian Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Norfolk, Va. Stewart was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 4th Assault Amphibian Battalion, 4th Marine Division, Gulfport, Miss. The other four Marines were assigned to Marine Forces Reserve’s 3rd Battalion, 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Columbus, Ohio. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, they all were attached to Regimental Combat Team 2, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
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Remember that for every soldier killed in modern war, 10 are wounded. Don't forget to pray for them and their families.
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Gen 3:17 Gen 3:8 Gen 1:1 Prov 19:21 Heb 11:3-6 Acts 20:9-12 Rom 5:17-19 1 Cor 9:24-25
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Josiah, Summer Rice, my new mirror mosaic bathroom wall and the Malone’s new (to them) home in Springhill.
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