Bug's Bleat 3Q 05

The Internet Version of The Ed Sullivan Show "We never let the truth stand in the way of a Good Story"

My Photo
Name:
Location: Magnolia, Arkansas, United States

Married to the "Wife of my youth." Two great kids, a fantastic daughter-in-love and a super son-in-love. Four super hero grand sons (Ethan, our "miracle" baby is the newest).

Friday, August 26, 2005

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Natural Laws

Volume 7, Issue 34

Hello All,

Jeannie Baucum was killed in a vehicle accident Sunday. Jeannie was one of Dorothy’s best friends in high school and one of our MCC youth. She was too young to die.
~~~~~
I pulled over for a funeral procession the other day and reflected on this practice. The people in the procession have lost a loved one and are hurting. It’s a small courtesy on our part to pull over while the funeral party goes by.
Just a little thing, doesn’t take much time at all, but we’re saying, “I’m sorry you lost a loved one.” These little acts of respect for each other make our lives better.
So the next time you hear some ignorant person complain about the practice, just smile and say; “Bless your heart.”
~~~~~
There was a news story this afternoon on how many Children’s hospitals are opening up their wards to family members who want to stay with kids 24/7. That’s nothing new to me.
Annette never left our kids side when they were in the hospital.
My mom stayed with me for months when I was hospitalized as a child. That was at St. Vincent’s in Little Rock and she never left the hospital until I did. I remember her eating my hospital meals and getting me food from the cafeteria that I liked better. I remember her reading to me and comforting me after painful tests or surgery. I remember her negotiating with the nuns for me after I’d “acted out.”
So, what’s new about family staying with kids?
~~~~~
I stumbled upon Danny Jackson’s farewell party today. Turns out that he’s going out on disability and this was his last day at work. So another one of my classmates will be at home. We didn’t think we’d ever get this old.
~~~~~
Dusty won first in Sparring and third in Style at the Regional Tae Kwon Do tournament held in Monroe last Saturday. He takes after his Grandmother and Aunt.
~~~~~
Annette and I enjoy our life. We’ve got great kids, FANTASTIC grand kids, a great fellowship of believers, etc. But it’s still a drag getting older.
We’re gonna start “Senior Water Aerobics” next week.
I’ve realized that I can’t hear as well as I could. Now hearing never has been my strong suite but lately I find myself asking people to repeat themselves. Conversations often sound like the adults in Charlie Brown tv shows. Then, tonight, it dawned on me that I have a lot of trouble telling where sound is coming from. I heard a “ticking” sound and wandered around the house trying to find the source of the noise until Annette told me it was the switch chain on the ceiling fan.
Shesh!
~~~~~
Emerson FFA Alumni will be having a fish Fundraiser on Monday, August 29, from 5:00 - 7:00 p.m. at the Ole Feed House.
Tickets are $10.00 and can be purchased at the door or by calling Brenda Waller at Emerson High School - 547-2862.
~~~~~
Congratulations to John and Cristal Ainsworth on the birth of their second daughter. Meg was born on August 24 - 19 ½ inches long - 7 lbs. 8 oz.
~~~~~
Here’s the latest news from two of our favorite Missionaries to Africa.

Hello from Arusha!

The other day Brandt and I were in town trying to buy supplies. As I was waiting for him to finish in a store, I saw something that made me think. “You know we life a life that most can’t imagine.” I started making a list of normal everyday things we see that maybe you wouldn’t naturally see in your “Hometown U.S.A.” Here it is:

Men wearing only a blanket and carrying a big machete.
Cow heads covered with flies sitting on tree stumps waiting to be sold for meat.
“Straight” men walking hand in hand.
Shoes made out of old tires.
A van made or 8 filled with 26 people, two live chickens and a goat.
A man in a wheelchair hanging on a bicycle going down the busiest street in town!
Hospital beds with out mattresses or sheets (bring your own!)
A child using his mother’s breast as a “Johnny-Jump-Up!”

Things can be so different here. We never really know what we’ll see next! But the funny thing is, we love our lives here and are so glad to be serving God in this part of the world.

As many of you know, we are expecting our third child soon! It’s taboo in Africa to admit that you’re pregnant. Instead, the women say they’ve had too much ugali to eat and their stomachs are swollen. I haven’t bothered with that lie and besides, I don’t thing anyone believes it anyway!

This will be the first time we have a baby here in Africa. The other two were both born in America. There are several reasons for that. One reason is that in some places, women aren’t allowed to cry or moan in labor. If they complain, the doctor slaps them and tells them, “It’s a happy day! You’re bringing life into the world. Don’t cry!” I told Brandt, “any doctor who slaps me when I’m in labor better run for his life, when I’m done!!!”

We’ll be having this baby in Kenya and would appreciate your prayers for a safe and complication free delivery.

Thanks so much to those of you who keep us in your prayers and faithfully support us. We love and appreciate you and pray for God’s blessings on you!

Joyfully, Brandt, Pam, Austin and Ty

For financial support, please make checks payable to AMA and tail to Agape Missionary Alliance, P.O. Box 22007, Little Rock, AR 72221. Write PRINCE on the memo line.
~~~~~
Fish Fry Benefit Supper - September 3 - for Taylor Fire Chief David Adamson.
Chief Adamson has been diagnosed with stomach cancer and is undergoing treatment.
Those not living near Magnolia that are going to attend please call
870.696.4001 so we may have a complete head count of those attending.

What: Fish fry benefit supper for Taylor Fire Chief David Adamson
When: Saturday, 3 Sep 2005, 1700-2030
Where: Philadelphia Church, 7 miles south of Magnolia on Columbia Road 15
How much: $8 per plate. Contact the Dorcheat Water Office or your local fire department for tickets
Any questions call Nancy Cook at 870.696.4001 or Katie Neason at 870.696.4035

Meals can be eaten in or picked up at the drive through.

*Due to the overwhelming response for people wanting to know a physical address to mail donations, here is the address:

Dorcheat Community Water System
c/o: Chief David Adamson Fish Fry Benefit Supper
71 Highway 160
Magnolia, AR 71753

Make checks payable to: Adamson Benefit Supper
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Guacamole - Prep Time: 15 minutes - Yield: about 2 ½ cups


½ small yellow or 1/4 red onion, minced
2 cloves garlic
½ teaspoon kosher salt
2 ripe Hass avocados
1 lime, juiced
2 to 3 tablespoons roughly chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1 ripe plum tomato, cored and diced
1/4 to ½ jalapeno (with seeds), minced


Soak the onion in cold water for 15 minutes. Drain and transfer to a large bowl.

On a cutting board, lightly sprinkle the garlic with 1/4 teaspoon of salt and smash it into a paste with the side of a cook's knife. Transfer the paste to the bowl with the onion.

Using a knife cut the avocados in half, rotating around the seeds. Remove the seeds and discard. Using the knife, carefully make several slashes in the avocado flesh. Using a spoon, scoop the avocado flesh into the bowl with the onion and garlic. Repeat with the remaining avocado.

Add the lime juice, cilantro, tomato, and jalapeno, to taste, to the avocados. Using a rubber spatula or large fork, mix until just combined, keeping the guacamole chunky. Season with salt, to taste. Serve immediately.

Copyright 2001 Television Food Network, G.P. All rights reserved

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_25933,00.html
~~~~~
Don't forget ... "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular Mid Premium Diesel
Current Avg. $2.60 $2.76 $2.86 $2.64
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
BREAKPOINT Commentaries
by Chuck Colson. - Prison Fellowship

Who Is Becoming Like Whom?
The Saudis Get a Pass . . . Again

August 26, 2005

A key goal in the war on terrorism is the promotion of democracy and pluralism in the Islamic world. It’s expected that these Western ideals will cripple radical Islam by reducing the number of potential terrorist recruits, and by making the Middle East more like the West.

Apparently, someone in Blacksburg, Virginia, didn’t get the word.

Blacksburg is home to Virginia Tech, Virginia’s largest public university. This past summer, Virginia Tech was paid $246,000 to host a program in “faculty development” for King Abdul-Aziz University in Saudi Arabia.

Such arrangements aren’t unusual, but what was unusual was the Saudis’ request that the classes be gender-segregated. University officials said that the Saudis wanted the courses to “mirror classroom settings at their home institution.”

As one Virginia Tech spokesman put it, the university “chose to respect the Saudi culture ‘rather than impress our culture on them.’” Well, that explanation did not go down well with Tech faculty members. One professor even filed a grievance. Virginia Tech’s provost issued an apology-of-sorts and called the flap a “learning moment” that will guide Tech’s future actions.

This particular issue is moot because the Saudis will be long gone by the time the grievance process is over. What isn’t moot is the way that Saudi Arabian oil wealth buys an exemption from our professed values and ideals.

A decade ago, the Supreme Court ruled that the Virginia Military Institute’s (VMI) single-sex policy violated the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause. As a public institution, VMI couldn’t do, as a matter of conviction, what its sister institution, Virginia Tech, now gladly does for money. Please.

Our bending over backwards to accommodate Saudi sensibilities isn’t limited to American college campuses. As scholar Daniel Pipes puts it, “In Saudi Arabia, the U.S. government submits to restrictions on Christian practices that it would find totally unacceptable anywhere else in the world”—including foregoing saying grace before Thanksgiving dinner during a 1990 visit by then-president George H. W. Bush. As recently as 2002, American servicewomen, when they went off-base, were expected to wear “abayas,” the black head-to-foot garments worn by Saudi women. Meanwhile, we allow Saudis to finance schools that teach hatred of the West and send Korans into prisons.

These and numerous other examples prompt an obvious question: Who is becoming like whom? There can be no doubt which one needs to change. After all, Americans didn’t hijack their planes and fly them into the Kingdom Centre in Riyadh.

Yet, Americans are expected, by both their government and ours, to become more like Saudis. And as the price of oil rises, this leverage and influence can be expected to rise with it.

Let’s be clear: This is not “respect” for another culture; it is cravenness. It is letting oil wealth blind us, not only to our values, but also to our best interests. In any war, it helps to know who your adversaries are. The poor, misguided folks in Blacksburg may have done us a favor if this wakes us up to the double-standard we practice with the Saudis.

For further reading and information:

Today’s BreakPoint offer: Read the Center for Religious Freedom report, edited by Nina Shea, “Saudi Publications on Hate Ideology Fill American Mosques,” January 2005. (Adobe Acrobat Reader required.)

Kevin Miller, “Virginia Tech professor calls setup a ‘hostile’ environment,” Roanoke Times, 10 August 2005.

“Gender-Segregated Saudi Program Upsets Professors,” NBC 4, 14 August 2005.

“Kingdom’s rules at Virginia Tech,” Virginia Pilot, 19 August 2005.

Zinie Chen Sampson, “Gender segregated classes for visiting Saudi professors spark faculty complaint,” San Diego Union-Tribune, 10 August 2005.

Daniel Pipes, “The Scandal of U.S.-Saudi Relations,” National Interest, Winter 2003. Reprinted at DanielPipes.org.

Chuck Colson, “Evangelizing for Evil in Our Prisons,” Wall Street Journal, 24 June 2002. (Reprinted at BreakPoint Online.)

BreakPoint Commentary No. 040726, “Overlooking the Problem: Tolerance and Theological Blindness.”

BreakPoint Commentary No. 050308, “Preaching Hate: The Problem of Saudi Religious Literature.”

http://www.pfm.org/Content/NavigationMenu5/BreakPoint/LearnMore/About_BreakPoint/default.htm 2005 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~

Words of the Week:
ephemeral: short-lived.
truculent: fierce; savage; ferocious.
vicissitude: a change in condition or fortune.
schadenfreude: a malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others.
tyro: a novice.
expatiate: to speak or write at length.
peccadillo: a slight offense; a petty fault.
bagatelle: a trifle; also, a short, light literary or musical piece.
from Dictionary.Com

~~~~~
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Rudyard Kipling

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

"The devil we know is better than the devil we don't." - Anonymous

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." - William Blake

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - - Aldous Huxley

"The past is of no importance. The present is of no importance. It is with the future that we have to deal. For the past is what man should not have been. The present is what man ought not to be. The future is what artists are. The facts: nothing matters but the facts: worship of the facts leads to everything, to happiness first of all and then to wealth." - Edmond De Goncourt

"A word after a word after a word is power." - Margaret Atwood

"Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them." - Leo Tolstoy
~~~~~
National Hurricane Center / Latest News - - http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/

><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
GCF: Natural Laws

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Ellen) -Tom

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
----------------------------------

"The Law of Volunteering"
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

"The Law of Reality"
Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.

"The Law of Self Sacrifice"
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

"Barnes' Law"
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

"Law of Probable Dispersal"
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

"Law of Volunteer Labor"
People are always available for work in the past tense.

"Conway's Law"
In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
There is always one more bug.

"Heller's Law"
The first myth of management is that it exists.

"Osborne's Law"
Variables won't; constants aren't.

"Main's Law"
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

"Berg's Second Law"
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Assistance?

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies) -Tom To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to: andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
----------------------------------

In the examination paper the Professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The Professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Out to Lunch

Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld) -Tom http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,104068,00.html
----------------------------------

It's the late 1980's, and this technician's boss at a nonprofit agency has a brainstorm.

"He wanted to provide a menu-driven telephone system that would let local boaters and fishermen call in for information on river levels," says the tech.

His further comments: "I was invited to a lunch with the local phone company to discuss it. Being new to the project, I started by asking what percentage of the targeted rural population had touch-tone phone service ... a must-have for menu-driven phone systems.

As I remember, the chicken salad was delicious and the project was never discussed again."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Wanna-be Mechanic

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Kristi) -Tom
----------------------------------

A man applies for a job as mechanic. The boss says, "Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?"

The mechanic nods, confused.

"Can you play light saber with your wrench and another man's screwdriver?"

"Oh yes," says the mechanic.

"Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?"

"Sir, I've been doing that for years!" says the wanna-be mechanic.

"Well in that case, I can't use you. I have 12 men doing that already!" says the boss.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Nervous Flyer

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
----------------------------------

During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
_ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / "It might look like \ \_/ ////
\ / I'm doing nothing, \ /
\ _/ but at the cellular level \_ /
/ / I'm really quite busy." \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Nostalgia isn't \ /
\ _/ what it used to be. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / When the chips are down, \ /
\ _/ the buffalo is empty. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / On the other hand, \ /
\ _/ you have different fingers. \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I listen to my body. \ /
\ _/ It is saying, \_ /
/ / "Two Twinkies and an RC Cola please." \ _ ____________________________ _
/ )| Thomas S. Ellsworth |( / / | tellswor@slonet.org | \ _( (_ | http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor | _) )_
_( (_ | *** Good Clean Fun *** | _) )_
(((\ \>|_/ )_______________________( \_|Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
[GCFL.net] Random Quotes

"There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age."

"I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarian and we're skeptical." (Charles Schultz)

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." (Jackie Mason)

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York, wars, and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons." (Douglas Adams)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman)

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." (Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman)

"Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable."

"If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag."

"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong."

Received from Stan Kegel.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Surgeon Feedback

Surgeons invited to dinner parties are often asked to carve the meat -- or worse yet, to watch the host carve while commenting on the surgeon's occupation.

At one party, a surgeon friend was watching the carving while Harry, his host, kept up a running commentary: "How am I doing, doc? How do you like that technique? I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"

When the host finished and the slices of meat lay neatly on the serving platter, the surgeon spoke up: "Anybody can take them apart, Harry. Now let's see you put them back together again."

Received from Clean Laughs.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Tossing Wine

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine.
He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this."

Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see an analyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get."

The man wrote down the name of the doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a fellow human being.

Six months later, the man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, once again serving the man a glass of white wine.

"I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine. Then he threw the remainder into the bartender's face.

The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he sputtered.

"On the contrary," the man claimed, "he's done me a world of good."

"But you threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed.

"Yes," the man replied. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore!"

Received from Marty's Joke of the Day.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Grandmother Shops

A young boy went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked at the items she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "queen size."

Excited, the boy turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look, Grandma! You wear the same size as your bed."

Received from Joan Goodart.
-=+=-
[GCFL.net] Man's Tension

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!

"You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my!

"WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

"Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Received from Ed VandenDool.
-=+=-
– NEW! Go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20050124 to rate this funny from 0 to 5.
-=+=-
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List "A cheerful heart is good medicine!" (Prov 17:22a) Go to http://gcfl.net/mlfrontend.php to change your subscription options or unsubscribe. To email this funny to a friend, go to http://gcfl.net/emailit.php?funny=20050107 The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://gcfl.net/latest.php
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Lost in Wal-Mart

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

Thanks to David Lamb
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
Today's Clean Laugh

Long Living

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

-=+=-

Fishing Wife

"So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."

"Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered.

"First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish.

Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon.

"All that might have been all right; but to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

-=+=-

Self-Evident Truths About Pets

* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

* Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

* Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

* Dogs shed, cats shred.

* I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?

* No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

* Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

* I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

* Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

* We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?

* Women and cats will do as they please ... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

* When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

-=+=-

Retirement Savings

Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner.

Shirley says, "Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?"

Abe says, "Do I care?"

A few minutes later Shirley says, "Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?"

Abe says, "Who cares?"

A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, "Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?"

Abe says, "Shirley, I really don't care what you wear, but if you don't get moving, we're going to miss the Early Bird Special."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

-=+=-

SPCA Rescue

"Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?"

"Yes."

"I want you to send somebody over right away."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a horrid magazine salesman sitting in a tree teasing my dog."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=90

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=113

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=115

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=116

http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=117
-=+=-

Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/workingstiffed.html - - Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you'll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the "living for the weekend" daily grind.
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Donations to a broad array of U.S. charities soared in the first quarter of 2005, putting to rest fears that donors would bankroll tsunami relief at the expense of other causes. 'People gave to the tsunami above and beyond what they normally give,' said Jessica Harrington, the vice president for direct response at Schultz & Williams, a Philadelphia-based fundraising consultant. 'They saw it as an additional gift rather than an instead-of gift.' Analysts of charitable giving attribute the surge to an improving economy, easier giving via the Internet - and plain generosity, which showed itself on two fronts. First, private U.S. donors bestowed $1.6 billion on relief after the Dec. 26 Indian Ocean disaster, a record for disaster aid. Second, they backed other charities in the first quarter of 2005 at a rate that will set a record for annual donations if it carries through the year."
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"A very active Atlantic hurricane season is underway, and with more storms projected, NOAA today increased the number of storms in its 2005 hurricane season outlook. NOAA expects an additional 11 to 14 tropical storms from August through November, with seven to nine becoming hurricanes, including three to five major hurricanes. In total, this season is likely to yield 18 to 21 tropical storms, with nine to 11 becoming hurricanes, including five to seven major hurricanes. 'The tropics are only going to get busier as we enter the peak of the season,' said Brig. Gen. David L. Johnson, USAF (Ret.), director of the NOAA National Weather Service. 'This may well be one of the most active Atlantic hurricane seasons on record, and will be the ninth above-normal Atlantic hurricane season in the last eleven years.' " -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"More than half of all Americans test positive in response to one or more allergens, double the percentage who did 30 years ago, a new study reports. Researchers at the National Institutes of Health found that 54% of people tested positive to at least one of 10 allergens. The highest response was to dust mites, 27.5%. The lowest was to peanuts, 8.6%. The findings appear in the August issue of the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology. Researchers analyzed data from skin-prick allergy tests on 10,500 people by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention." -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"People who die in their sleep may stop breathing because they have lost too many brain cells, U.S. researchers reported on August 8, 2005. Sleep apnea -- a condition in which people stop breathing for long stretches of time in their sleep -- may sometimes be caused by the destruction of cells in the brain stem, where autonomic functions such as breathing are controlled, they said. Tests on rats showed that the loss of key brain stem cells that die off with age caused such disrupted sleep that the animals eventually stopped breathing completely. The same thing may be happening in elderly people, said neurobiologist Jack Feldman of the University of California Los Angeles." -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"The nation's two largest minority groups are following strikingly different paths: Hispanics are moving to areas with few from their ethnic group; African-Americans are moving to suburbs in the South that have large black populations, Census estimates released August 11, 2005 show. 'These are two major waves in America,' says William Frey, demographer at the Brookings Institution in Washington. 'One is the black return to the South. The other is Hispanics going to places where everybody else is moving, following the jobs.' The July 1, 2004, estimates show that the share of Hispanics living in counties with large concentrations of Hispanics is slipping." -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"One out of every six U.S. high school students suffers from asthma and more than one-third of those report having an attack in the previous year, according to a federal study released that suggests schools do more to manage the potentially fatal lung disease. Asthma, which is marked by breathing difficulties, coughing and inflammation of the airways, disproportionately affects children and adolescents. In some states, it is the leading cause of absenteeism in schools. In 2003, an estimated 16.1 percent of those enrolled in grades 9 through 12 said they were suffering from the disease, according to a survey of more than 13,000 students by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention." -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Stung by a publishing industry backlash, Google Inc. has halted its efforts to scan copyrighted books from some of the nation's largest university libraries so the material can be indexed in its leading Internet search engine. The company announced the suspension, effective until November, in a notice posted on its Web site just before midnight August 12, 2005, by Adam Smith, the manager of its ambitious program to convert millions of books into a digital format. 'We think most publishers and authors will choose to participate in the publisher program in order (to) introduce their work to countless readers around the world,' Smith wrote. 'But we know that not everyone agrees, and we want to do our best to respect their views too.' Google wants publishers to notify the company which copyrighted books they don't want scanned, effectively requiring the industry to opt out of the program instead of opting in." -
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"The architect's concept is breathtaking: a spiraling, 115-story tower that would pierce the sky along Chicago's lakefront and grab the title of the nation's tallest building. Off the drawing board, though, history shows that such plans often fail to live up to their record-breaking aspirations. Over the past 20 years, dozens of high-rise proposals such as the new Fordham Spire in Chicago have been billed as the world's or nation's next tallest building. But most of the projects have ended up either scaled down or scrapped before the shovels even hit the dirt. 'Since 1950, there's only been a handful of world's tallest buildings and those that have been built have ruled for a long time,' said Lee Bey, a former architecture critic who is writing a book about unbuilt skyscrapers. 'These things are obviously very complicated to build and complicated to finance.' " ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"According to a new survey released today by the National Consumers League (NCL), many adults in the U.S. are purchasing a wide variety of communication services and are ready to embrace new technologies in the future: 39 percent of adults who use a landline said they are likely to give it up and use only a wireless phone at home within the next two years; and 46 percent of those who have heard of VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) said it was likely that they would switch from their traditional landline service to this technology. A Washington-based nonprofit education and advocacy organization, NCL commissioned the telephone survey of 1,000 adults, conducted by Harris Interactive, to better understand consumers’ current and future use of telephone, Internet, and television services such as cable and satellite. “People seem to be excited about new communications options,” said Susan Grant, Vice President for Public Policy at NCL. 'More choices are good for consumers, but they need help navigating this increasingly complex communications marketplace.' "
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
SAT Registration - - http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/sat/reg.html - - Get ready to take the new SAT. The class of 2006 will be the first class to take the new SAT for college admissions. Learn more about the SAT, register online, and get the latest information about the SAT Program. Register online and: Choose your test date and test center; Get immediate registration confirmation; Get recruited by colleges and universities.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
National Assoc. of Unclaimed Property Administrators - - http://www.naupa.org/ - - Free national search site to reunite you with your unclaimed property maintained by the state officials who are safeguarding it.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Conversion Maestro - - http://www.ptloma.edu/Physics/conversions.htm - - This site calculates U.S.-metric conversions for length, area, mass and weight, liquid volume, and temperature.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Bankruptcy - - http://www.nolo.com/resource.cfm/catID/462A9501-9B21-4E09-A08C5A7B8AF51A79/213 - - This site by Nolo.com provides an information and resources on U.S. bankruptcy laws and procedures. Issues presented include an explanation of the differences between Chapter 7 (liquidation) and Chapter 11, 12, and 13 (reorganization) bankruptcy filings. Site features a FAQ, glossary, comparison charts, and other legal resources on this topic.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Public Elementary-Secondary Education Finance Data - - http://www.census.gov/govs/www/school.html - - This Census Bureau site presents education finance data, including revenues, expenditures, debt, and assets (cash and security holdings) of elementary and secondary public school systems. Statistics cover all states, including the District of Columbia, and are available on an annual basis.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Our Solar System - - http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/ - - This NASA site features news, pictures and articles on the 9 planets, many moons and one sun that make up our Solar System.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Blue Web'n - - http://www.kn.pacbell.com/wired/bluewebn/ - - Blue Web'n is an online library of 1973 outstanding Internet sites categorized by subject, grade level, and format (tools, references, lessons, hotlists, resources, tutorials, activities, projects). You can search by grade level (Refined Search), broad subject area (Content Areas), or specific sub-categories (Subject Area).
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Yahoo! Reference - - http://education.yahoo.com/reference/ - - Whether you're a student, a parent, or just plain curious, Yahoo! Reference offers a handy selection of books and materials to help you find the information you need. Look up a definition in the dictionary, find map and flag images for every country in the world in the World Factbook, get in-depth information from the encyclopedia, and much more.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 08 -- 23 August 2005
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
+-------------------------------------------------+
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: Blue Frogs / Secure FTP

Will a plague of blue frogs storming the Internet bring an end to spam, or are they just virtual vigilantes? And can uploading files to your website expose your password to Evil Hackers? Read on...
+-------------------------------------------------+

-------------------------------------
Will Blue Frogs Be the End of Spam?
-------------------------------------

BlueSecurity is an attempt to create an anti-spam network. Members of the community (known as Blue Frogs) install special software that sends automatic complaints to websites that advertise in spam emails. The hope is that the "spamvertised" website will be flooded with complaints, effectively creating a denial of service attack that will make it impossible for them to do business.

I have doubts that this will work, and they extend beyond the ethics and legalities of participating in an amphibious denial of service attack. For the full story, click this link:

http://www.askbobrankin.com/blue_security_-_spam_solution.html

----------------
Is FTP Secure?
----------------

A reader recently asked me this: "I got a warning that FTP was not secure any more and that I should download a fix. I'm not very tech savvy, so I depend on you to keep my computer healthy. So is this something I should do? And if you're wondering how an idiot like me can have a website to ftp to, all my younger relatives help me."

The short answer is NO, the FTP protocol is NOT secure. If you have a website, and you use FTP to transfer files from your computer to a web server, you need to read this article to make sure you're not giving away the keys to your digital domain.

http://www.askbobrankin.com/is_ftp_secure.html

-----------------
Free Virus Scan
-----------------

If the idea of shelling out cold, hard cash for an anti-virus program doesn't sit well with you, then how about some free anti-virus software? There are some nifty online scanners that let you check for viruses just by connecting to a website. And there are some good old-fashioned full-fledged anti-virus packages you can download for free. Read this article to find out where to get the goods, gratis:

http://www.askbobrankin.com/free_virus_scan.html

----------------
More Stumpers!
----------------

Everyone knows that TOURBUS riders are smarter and better-looking than the average Internet user, and each person has their own area of expertise. So I'm sure we can pool our collective intelligence to help some fellow netizens find answers to their perplexing questions.

Recent Stumpers in the AskBobRankin [Inbox] include these: "Can't Backup to a CD", "Program Loading Order", and "Mozilla Interferes With McAfee". With all due apologies in advance to Radio Shack... You got answers? We got questions!

http://www.askbobrankin.com/inbox

You can also read my answers to reader questions about deleting files from a CD-RW disk, converting an internal hard drive to external, and what to do when your laptop monitor dies.
+-------------------------------------------------+
That's it for today. Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html
Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the
Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Praise and Prayer Report- August, 2005

Greetings from a wet Romania.
PRAISES
We thank God for His bountiful provision, which includes the annointing of the Holy Spirit!
This is an amazing week in the Lord.
1- a) Monday we received a truckload of humanitarian aid from Holland - this gives us favor with the local authorities. We need to renew our Romanian Residence Visas in Sept!
b) we also began putting up another two-room house at the Gypsy Camp( our 7th home this year).
c) tomorrow, Friday, we begin building a two-room house behind the home we rent. This will be used as classroom to expand our Children's Church program.
2- Tuesday morning the tent went up again and Tuesday through Friday we have children's outreach in the afternoons and Healing/Evangelistic meetings in the evenings. Twelve adults have received Jesus so far and veryone who has come forward for prayer Tues and Wed evenings has been healed, many before we lay hands on them!
3- This morning, Thursday, a commercial construction firm began a three-room medical clinic on our land next to the Gypsy Camp. We have recently received all the new office and basic medical supplies required for a full-time clinic for the clinic!
4- The city government is NOW digging up our street to pave it. Praise God, this will make life much easier in the winter and in the rainy season.
5- Last month we were welcomed as members in the Timisoara Christian Center organization. TCC has similar status to the denominations in romania. Faith Family Christian Center ((our church) is now legally recognized as a church in Romania! Until now all our activities had to be done under the umbrella of Family Aid Foundation.
6- Last month we had our annual youth camp, with 21 youth participating. Then we worked with a Dutch Foundation and took 54 children, from four towns/villages that we minister in, to children's camp. Last week Pastor Ianos took 9 young adults to a WET week-long outing. Have already seen changed lives as a result of these outreaches!
7- The architectural plans for our own house and for our Family Aid Foundation buildings are nearly complete.
Prayer Opportunities
1- We are believing God for many who receive Jesus, and others who are healed this week in the tent, to connect with our local church. We are not satisfied just with converts; but, desire to see people come into the church so they can grow in their relationship, and estabish true fellowship, with God. Please pray for people to have a heart desire to grow in God.
2- We desire to put up at least five more houses in the next three months. Please agree with us for the finances AND for short-term workers to come labour with us. Inflation has raised the price of a two-room house to $2300 each; but, God is our source.
3- Please pray with us for favor with God and man for a bountiful provision of finances for our own house and the building for Family Aid Foundation. We are breaking the project up into several differnt bites or steps. The first is to pay for the architect's plans, the building permits, and all technical diagrams for the project - $5,000 will take care of these costs. With a full basement, main floor, and two bedrooms on top floor, our house will be about 2,500 square feet. The Family Aid Foundation building will have full basement and two floors with an area of about 4,800 suare feet. More details of plans and project steps are to follow. It is TIME for us to stop paying rent to others and invest in our and God's long-term plans here in Transylvania.
4- Please pray for the rains to stop in this nation. Many people drowned in July and now more have lost thier lives in the last few days here in Romania. Many thousands of homes have been destroyed, lots of roads and bridges have been washed out. Signs of the end times; but, God is NOT in the business of destruction!
In His Love,
Rufus Whynot
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
A Keeper

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and Dishtowel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that Re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste Meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always Be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning That sometimes there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes Away...never to return. So ... while we have it ... it's best we love It ... and care for it ... and fix it when it's broken...... and heal It when it's sick.

This is true. For marriage..... and old cars.... and children with bad report cards..... and dogs with bad hips.... and aging Parents..... and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth It, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we Know who are special..... and so, we keep them close!

Good Friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know They are always there.

Keep them close!

TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY.

1... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2... God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3... God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4... God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of our ability.

6... God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8... God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.

9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation! He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10.. Because of Him, I am....

Thanks to Ben Blankenship
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
What if God decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today?

What if God couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?

What if we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the Rain?

What if God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?

What if, God took away the Bible tomorrow because we would not read it today?

What if, God took away His message because we failed to listen to the messenger? . THINK ABOUT THIS ONE.....

What if, God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin?

What if, the door of the church was closed because we did not open the door of our heart?

What if, God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others?

What if, God would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him?

What if, God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?

What if, God met our needs the way we give Him our lives???

Thanks to David Lamb
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
TGIF-Today God Is First


Our Plans and God's Plans
-------------------------

Friday, August 26, 2005
by Os Hillman

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

Have you ever heard of someone who spent years of preparation for one vocation only to end up doing something completely different? Perhaps this could be said of you. Quite often we have in our minds what we believe we want to do only to have a course correction. Often the course correction comes through a major crisis that forces us into an area that we would never have considered.

Such was the case for Samuel Morse. Born in 1791, Morse grew up desiring to be an artist, and he eventually became very talented and internationally known. However, it was difficult to make a living as an artist in America during that time. A series of crises further complicated his vocational desire when his wife died; then his mother and father also died soon after. He went to Europe to paint and reflect on his life. On his return trip aboard a ship, he was captivated by discussions at dinner about new experiments in electromagnetism. During that important occasion, Morse made the following comment, "If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of the circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted by electricity." In the face of many difficulties and disappointments, he determinedly perfected a new invention, and, in 1837, applied for a patent that became what we know today as the telegraph. He also created Morse code. It was only later, after many more setbacks and disappointments, that his projects received funding.

Samuel Morse later commented, "The only gleam of hope, and I cannot underrate it, is from confidence in God. When I look upward it calms any apprehension for the future, and I seem to hear a voice saying: 'If I clothe the lilies of the field, shall I not also clothe you?' Here is my strong confidence, and I will wait patiently for the direction of Providence." Morse went on to create several other inventions and can be recognized today as the father of faxes, modems, e-mail, the internet and other electronic communication. ["Glimpses," Issue #99 (Worcester, Pennsylvania: Christian History Institute, 1998).]

God's plans may not always seem to follow our natural inclination. Perhaps God has you taking a path that may not lead to His ultimate destination for you. Trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all you do, and He shall direct your path (see Prov. 3:5-6).
-=+=-
True Repentance in a Nation
-------------------------

Thursday, August 25, 2005
by Os Hillman

When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes. ~ 2 Chronicles 34:19

Josiah was a godly king in Israel. However, before he came to power, the nation had fallen into all kinds of evil. One man, Manasseh, had brought the nation to a condition of inexorable evil. God finally had enough.

Therefore this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I am going to bring such disaster on Jerusalem and Judah that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle. I will stretch out over Jerusalem the measuring line used against Samaria and the plumb line used against the house of Ahab. I will wipe out Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down (2 Kings 21:12-13).

Josiah came into power just before this judgment. He began to clean up the evil by burning all the idolatrous temples, ridding prostitution and homosexuality from the streets, and destroying occult shrines. He did this without the benefit of even reading God's Word, but through the Holy Spirit working in his heart. Then one day the ancient Scriptures were discovered in the temple that had lain dormant for years.

They had a profound impact on King Josiah.

When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes. He gave these orders to Hilkiah, Ahikam son of Shaphan, Abdon son of Micah, Shaphan the secretary and Asaiah the king's attendant: "Go and inquire of the Lord for me and for the remnant in Israel and Judah about what is written in this book that has been found. Great is the Lord's anger that is poured out on us because our fathers have not kept the word of the Lord; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written in this book" (2 Chronicles 34:19-21).

Josiah was broken. He tore his robes in repentance. He fell to his knees and repented for the wickedness of his nation. He stood in the gap, and God honored Josiah; however, it wasn't enough. God still had to judge the nation for its previous wickedness under the reign of Manasseh.

"Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before God when you heard what He spoke against this place and its people, and because you humbled yourself before Me and tore your robes and wept in My presence, I have heard you, declares the Lord. Now I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace. Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place and on those who live here." ... (2 Chronicles 34:27-28).

God spared Josiah during his reign, but after he died judgment came upon the nation.

No nation is immune from God's judgment. Pray for your nation today. Pray that your nation will have a repentant heart among the leaders and the people.
-=+=-
God's Recruitment Strategy for Leaders
-------------------------

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
by Os Hillman

Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. ~ Acts 9:8a

When God calls one of His servants into service, there is often much travail. There are many examples where God makes His presence known through circumstances that tax the individual to his very soul.

Consider Paul, who was stricken blind on the Damascus road.

Consider Peter; when he denied Jesus after the crucifixion, he was in total despair.

Consider Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were thrown into the fiery furnace.

Consider Daniel, who was thrown into the lions' den.

Consider David, who was forced to flee his former employer for many years and lived as a fugitive.

It may seem strange to us that God uses such incredible adversity to prepare His servants for greater service, but this is God's way. God knows that the human heart is incapable of voluntarily stepping into situations that take us beyond our comfort zone. He intentionally brings us into hard places to prove us and to drive us deeper into the soil of His grace.

In arid regions of the world, trees cannot survive unless their roots grow deeper to where the water table can be found. Once they reach the water, these trees become stronger than any tree that can be found in tropical climates. Their root systems ensure that they can withstand any storm. In the same way, God brings us into extremely difficult situations in order to prove His power and drive our spiritual roots deeper.

Friend, God may take you through times when you will question His love for you. In such times, you must cling to His coattail so that you see His purposes in it. Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.

For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But My righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him" (Hebrews 10:36-38).
-=+=-
The Art of Waiting
-------------------------

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
by Os Hillman

By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them.... ~ Exodus 13:21

How are you at waiting on God? How do you determine if God is giving you the green light to move forward? Many workplace believers make the mistake of adding up all the pluses and then concluding that God has given them the green light. Several factors go into making a decision from the Lord.

It is important to do three things before you make a decision on a matter. First, you should gather facts. Fact gathering allows you to determine all the realities of a given situation. However, this does not ultimately drive your decision, but it can put a stop to it. For instance, if you were planning to build a shopping center and you knew the only way to lease the space was to rent to a porn shop, your decision would be made. God would not lead you to enter into unrighteous ventures.

Second, is the Holy Spirit guiding you in your decision? "If the Lord delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm" (Ps. 37:23). George Mueller cites that the steps are also "by the Lord." God puts hedges around us, but many times we bull our way through the hedges under the guise of tenacity and perseverance. This too is unrighteousness. One wise workplace believer stated that the greatest success one can have in business is to know when it is time to pull the plug rather than keep forcing a situation. Not all businesses last forever.

Third, has your decision been confirmed? God has placed others around us to be used as instruments in our lives to confirm decisions and keep us from the deceit of our own heart. "Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses" (2 Cor. 13:1b). This is God's way of keeping us within the hedge of His protection.

"Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser."
-=+=-
Drawing Near to Darkness
-------------------------

Monday, August 22, 2005
by Os Hillman

The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was. ~ Exodus 20:21

Like the nation of Israel, we are each called to the mountain of God, but few are willing to pass through the darkness to get there. God wanted to reveal His glory to the children of Israel, but they were afraid to enter into His presence. They only wanted to know about God, rather than know him personally like Moses did. This grieved the heart of God.

Why wouldn't the people of Israel risk entering the darkness if it meant being in the presence of God? What did the people fear?

Perhaps they had fears like each of us. The fear of the unknown. The fear of what might happen. The fear that God might not like what He sees. Or, perhaps even the greatest fear: the fear of darkness itself and what lies behind that darkness.

Many of us have been satisfied to hear about God from God's messengers. But there is a greater calling for each of us—a calling to enter into His presence. Sometimes entering into His presence means we enter through an unexpected door—a door that appears to have nothing good behind it.

We do not need to fear entering the presence of God even if it means entering through a period of darkness. Above all else we must believe that God is a God of love. If He calls us into darkness in order to enter His presence, then that darkness will become an entry to new levels of relationship with a God who longs for fellowship with you and me.
-=+=-
Copyright 2005. www.MarketplaceLeaders.org
---------------------------------------------------
To contact Os Hillman, request reprint permission, or to book Os to speak in your town write to os@marketplaceleaders.org. Marketplace Leaders Website: http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ Copyright 2005
--------------------------------------------------
Please recommend this TGIF daily devotional to everyone interested in applying their faith to their worklife. Tell them to subscribe at http://www.TodayGodIsFirst.com

Os Hillman Copyright 2005
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Columbia County Fair, Monday, September 19 - Saturday, September 24.
~~~
Steak & Bingo (Sep 24 06:00 PM CDT in Jr. High cafeteria)
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on August 18, 2005, in Samarra, Iraq, where an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV following a mine assessing mission. The soldiers were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga. Killed were:
01. Sgt. Nathan K. Bouchard, 24, of Wildomar, Calif.
02. Staff Sgt. Jeremy W. Doyle, 24, of Chesterton, Md.
03. Spc. Ray M. Fuhrmann, II, 28, of Novato, Calif.
04. Pfc. Timothy J. Seamans, 20, of Jacksonville, Fla.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died on August 21 near Baylough, Afghanistan, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during patrol operations. The soldiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade, Vicenza, Italy.
Killed were:
05. Spc. Blake W. Hall, 20, of East Prairie, Mo.
06. 1st Lt. Joshua M. Hyland, 31, of Missoula, Mont.
07. Sgt. Michael R. Lehmiller, 23, of Anderson, S.C.
08. Pvt. Christopher L. Palmer, 22, of Sacramento, Calif.

09. Sgt. Willard T. Partridge, 35, of Ferriday, La., died on August 20 in Baghdad, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Partridge was assigned to the 170th Military Police Company, 504th Military Police Battalion, 42nd Military Police Brigade, Fort Lewis, Wash.

10. Lance Cpl. Phillip C. George, 22, of Houston, Texas, died Aug. 18 from enemy small arms fire while conducting combat operations near Taleban, Afghanistan. George was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on August 21, 2005, in Mosul, Iraq, where their M915A1 tractor pulling a 7,500-gallon tanker accidentally rolled over. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army's 360th Transportation Company, 68th Corps Support Battalion, 43rd Area Support Group, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
11. Pfc. Elden D. Arcand, 22, of White Bear Lake, Minn.
12. Staff Sgt. Brian L. Morris, 38, of Centreville, Mich.

13. 2nd Lt. James J. Cathey, 24, of Reno, Nev., died Aug. 21 of injuries caused by an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations near Al Karmah, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

14. Pfc. Ramon Romero, 19, of Huntington Park, Calif., died Aug. 22 when the vehicle he was in was struck by an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations near Fallujah, Iraq. Romero was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. As part of Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to the 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

15. Sgt. Joseph C. Nurre, 22, of Wilton, Calif., died on Aug. 21, 2005, near Samarra, Iraq, where an improvised explosive device detonated near his M916 tractor during convoy operations. Nurre was assigned to the Reserve's 463rd Engineer Battalion, Weirton, W. Va.

16. 1st Lt. Carlos J. Diaz, 27, of Juana Diaz, P.R., died on Aug. 23, 2005, in Baqubah, Iraq, when enemy forces detonated an explosion near his position. Diaz was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 69th Armor Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died on August 22, 2005, in Samarra, Iraq, when they were conducting patrol operations and an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV. Both soldiers were assigned to the Army National Guard's 3rd Squadron, 278th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Sparta, Tenn. Killed were:
17. Staff Sgt. Victoir P. Lieurance, 34, of Seymour, Tenn.
18. Sgt. Joseph D. Hunt, 27, of Sweetwater, Tenn.

19. Master Sgt. Chris S. Chapin, 39, of Proctor, Vt., died on Aug. 23, 2005, in Ar Ramadi, Iraq during combat operations when he was attacked by enemy forces using small arms fire. Chapin was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion (General Studies), 124th Regiment (Regional Training Institute), Colchester, Vt.

20. Spc. Hatim S. Kathiria, 23, of Fort Worth, Texas, died on Aug. 22, 2005, in Baghdad, Iraq, where an enemy rocket impacted near his position. Kathiria was assigned to the 703rd Forward Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
"Fight till you win!" - - Mark Brazee
"Bring 'em on!" - -President George W. Bush
"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"If you can read this e-mail, thank a teacher. - - If you read it in English, thank a serviceman."
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - - Margaret Mead
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 4:18-21 Prov 24:12 Rom 2:1-4
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Magnolia Soapbox Derby Racers.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home